Holy Humor

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GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan.
She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded
and
bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?â

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the
most
quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to
learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the
Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, h e stepped up to
the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I
need to know.

UNANSWERED PRAYER

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and
bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked
him why.
"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his
messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."
"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.

BEING THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your
prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every
family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For
several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say,
"And all girls."

This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My
curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add
the part about all girls?"

Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All
Men'!

SAY A PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's
house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

"Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother.
"I don't need to," the boy replied.
"Of course, you do "his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before
eating at our house."
"That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and
she knows how to cook.


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