Have you ever considered suicide?

Rev. 6:5

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Yesterday we had a suicide. I won't go into details, but the victim, a male in his 50's, ensured that an open casket funeral would be impossible. He leaves a note with his wife's information and a request that she be contacted.

That's where I come in. I have a reputation for being a compassionate officer, so I tend to get tasked with making death notifications. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to tell you that it's the worst part of my job, bar none.

I get to the house and knock on the door.....
Wife: Who is it?
Me: Police Department, ma'am.
Wife: What do you want?
Me: I need to speak with you. Open the door, please.
Door cracks open and she looks out. She sees me standing next to a chaplain.
Me: May we come in for a moment?
Wife: No. Why???
Me: Ma'am, I have bad news, may we please step inside?
Wife: Tell me! *at this point you can see the panic on her face*
Me: I'm so sorry, but your husband is gone. He's passed away.
Wife: *collapses to the floor, wracked with grief*

When she found out it was by suicide, she came completely unglued.

It took the chaplain and I over an hour to get to where she was calm enough to give us info on how to reach family for her to get her some support. I won't leave someone I've just notified of a family death until they are surrounded by people who love them. I'd expect the same if I were in her shoes.

Family and friends arrive, lots of group praying, lots of crying. This poor lady will forever associate Christmas with the suicide of her husband. She'll forever blame herself for not doing that one small thing that wouldn't have changed the outcome anyway. I clasped her outstretched hand with both my hands and told her that nothing she could have said or done could have saved him. Those are empty words for her, though. The self-blame will always be there.

I don't care how bad it gets for you and how good you think this world would be without you, you're ripping the souls out of those who love you when you decide on this permanent solution to your temporary problems.



SuicideHotlines.com - When You Feel You Can't Go On -- Let Someone Know Your Pain.
 
Never crossed my mind. I don't think anything could get that bad to where I would even consider it. Like you said, there are too many that love me and it would hurt them more than the struggle I go through. Thoughts and prayers with this guys wife, family, and friends. Big props to you also REV, that is something I wouldn't be able to do. Being the on that has to deliver bad news takes something that a lot of people don't have.
 
It crosses my mind from time to time, but like you said the whole permanent solution to a temp prob, you know. Besides its a tad bit selfish, when you have people who actually need you.
 
These are my own .02

I used to believe that those who commit suicide go straight to hell. That's how I was raised. As I got older and watching the mental state of someone close to me perish to the point of suicide I have come to believe that you must be one of the highest levels of mentally ill do be able to commit such a thing. No one (in my opinion) in a "Normal" state would even think of suicide. I really don't think God would turn his back on someone that sick. I do agree with Kainedogg. Suicide is EXTREMELY selfish. You are not only killing yourself but ruining the lives of those closest to you.

I'm truly sorry you are the bearer of bad news but like badazgtp said, it takes guts to do what you do. I would not want to be in your shoes. Props to you!

prayers go out the the loved ones of this man.
 
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My heart goes out to you as someone who must deliver this message. Prayers to the family of this terrible situation. I have never given suicide a thought, too many people depend on me, and I love life too much. Am I afraid to die? Maybe, I have a lot to live for, but I know what my ultimate destination will be.
 
I, too, used to believe you'd go to hell if you committed suicide. I then came to the understanding that it's Jesus' call. I would like to think he takes it on a case-by-case basis.
 
So long as I am fortunate to be able to think rationally suicide will never be considered.

We tend to judge others through whatever perspective we have, so it's difficult to understand why someone else would do this to themselves and their loved ones...while we have the benefit of clear thought.

It's a tough job you have at times Rev. Nicely done. :beerchug:
 
I know for a fact that there are a few member on this board that have thought of this and quite recently too. We all poke and debate on here but remember that we are a family here. We really do care...just pick up a phone and give someone a call...
 
Incredibly heartbreaking to hear :down: I have had suicidal members in my family, and I've known friends that ended life long before their time. I know that if someone truly wants to die, nothing will stop them. Many try and try 'til they get what they're looking for, so that's the hardest thing for those left behind to accept. So many friends and family think you could have stopped this, but unfortunately, for many, there would never be a way to stop it if it's truly what this person wants.

I feel incredibly sorry for people that hit rock bottom and see no way out. It's a sad and lonely place to be, and not one that drugs or friends or anything can just "fix". I think that's why suicide is so hard for those a loved one leaves behind...you really never have the answers or know all the reasons why. Suicide leaves many victims. My heart goes out to this man's wife. Truly agonizing for her and everyone else that loved him.
 
While I do not believe in Heaven or Hell, In my life, as bad as sometimes things have been, I have never, ever thought of suicide. I have been taught to fight to the bitter end. I must mention that those times have been few, but some of the bad times have been a real test of mettle.............
 
Rev you are a good man. If I ever have the misfortune of receiving that type of call I hope the person has your caring heart. You restore my faith in humanity. Thank you.
 
Wow Rev, my heart goes out to you for having to do the job no one else what's to do. I can't imagine having to do something like that.
Prayers to that woman and her family.
 
Tried and failed twice. Think that means I need to stay.
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Those days are behind you. You are surround by a group that doesn't HAVE to be a part of your life (like family) but WANTS to. Never forget there's a reason for that. You will reach out to us when you're feeling weak and you will receive the strength and support of the oRg.
 
And Rev, I can't imagine what it's like to present that kind of news to anyone, but I'm thankful we have people like you doing a tough job like this...

+1000! REV, will say an extra special prayer for you!
 
I have had 2 uncles and my best friend that did this. One was in so much pain from headaches and at the time nothing could be done about it. Not sure why the other did it but it happened. It has crossed my mind a few times sorry to say. The past few years have been hell with my back and other things that sometimes i feel i cant go on. I have son and a grand baby and i guess that is what keeps me going. I know it is selfish to think something like that but you can never know what someone is going through until you take a walk in their shoes. Rev, thanks for what you do and i know it has to be hard
 
Thank you for what you did.

My grandfather committed suicide at about 55; I was about 14 at the time. He'd recently been laid off from the job he'd held over 40 years. It tore my mother's heart out.

Even if it's not about you anymore, the people who you'd hurt left behind ought to be enough of a reason to rethink.
 
my best friend of 35 years killed himself just 20 minutes after i last spoke to him..im now acting as uncle to his nieces and nephews and brother to his sisters...miss him every day...reading this sory put me in tears all over again...gonna go call his sister...???
 
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