What cards don't say.......
//////////////////////////////////////
M y tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire..
I noticed your cat
Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H eard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
L ooking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
C ongratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H ow could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I 've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you .
I've changed my mind.
--------------------------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
//////////////////////////////
A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
##############################
C ongratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
************************************
H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in <st1:State w:st="on">Tennessee</st1:State> , <st1:State w:st="on">Kentucky</st1:State>, The Carolinas , & <st1:State w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">West Virginia</st1lace></st1:State> )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H appy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
W hen we were together,
You always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise
///////////////////////////////
W e have been friends for a very long time..
Let's say we stop?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
I 'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
==========================
C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
%%%%%%%%%%%%
Y our friends and I wanted to do
Something special for your birthday
So we're having you put to sleep.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
S o your daughter's a hooker,
And it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
It's really good pay.
//////////////////////////////////////
M y tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire..
I noticed your cat
Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H eard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
L ooking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
C ongratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H ow could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I 've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you .
I've changed my mind.
--------------------------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
//////////////////////////////
A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
##############################
C ongratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
************************************
H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in <st1:State w:st="on">Tennessee</st1:State> , <st1:State w:st="on">Kentucky</st1:State>, The Carolinas , & <st1:State w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">West Virginia</st1lace></st1:State> )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H appy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
W hen we were together,
You always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise
///////////////////////////////
W e have been friends for a very long time..
Let's say we stop?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
I 'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
==========================
C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
%%%%%%%%%%%%
Y our friends and I wanted to do
Something special for your birthday
So we're having you put to sleep.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
S o your daughter's a hooker,
And it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
It's really good pay.