Does anybody on here(the org) ever ponder over one's own demise

[rubbersidedown]

I'm not really doing that well. Pretty much feel like I've hit rock bottom here.

I reached out to my ex wife this morning. Didn't really feel like she cared all that much.

Cant call my kids,why dump my shi7 on them.They have their own lives and are doing well.

I acually feel like I have no one.

I'm actually gonna call one of those help lines.

I'll let you know how it turns out. Could be a really good thread.

Rubb.

 

[rubbersidedown]

Its 11:57 AM and I am drunk on fine tequila and some other "extra coricula" activities.

RSD.

 

[VaBusa]

Awww, reach out here! Oh wait, you did!

And to answer your question up there, yes, I do ponder my own demise, often...never used to, ever, until I lost my Dad. I can't shake it now though. Losing someone you love so much kind of does that to you I guess.

But enough about me answering the question Rubb, what gives? Do not let life get you this far down.

What's going on? Do you know how many of us here have gone through and survived divorce? It's just another phase in life, and you come back stronger than ever, right?

 

[RedBusarider]

Sounds like you are spending to much time alone.
If the weather is good, go for a drive - fresh air is good for you.
Exercise is also good for you - but I know how hard it is to start if your not doing it now. Walking counts.
Limit yourself on Alcohol as that is a downer.
Do some yard work if you can.
Build something as a feel of accomplishment is good for the soul.
Volunteer for something - helping others is an upper.

Pick something from above and post back in the morning.

 

[VIPER]

Rb brotha move down here to iowa.....we will have a blast running the bikes! i have a huge basement 2000 sq ft i would be more then happy to rent ya a giant shop to play around in and there are plenty of jobs around here!

 

[VaBusa]

Yep, maybe you need an entire change of scenery Rubb...get out of Canada!

 

[rubbersidedown]

I called one of them helplines.

She was nice. Very smart. She cautioned about reaching out. Calling friends or familiy.What if they dont pick up or call back. I'm just listening to music now.M,divorce...I swollowed that pill more than once. Its not that. I do spend alot of time alone, ^ Red

I actually have just decided to donate some money to these help lines.

If any of you are feeling like I am I truely feel for you. Dont let it go this far or get this bad.


Crisis Information | Canadian Mental Health Association Victoria Branch

http://crisiscentrechat.ca/ couldn't bring myself to "chat" with someone.

The last time I called out for help,I ended up in a room that had 6 concrete sides and a steel door. True story.

If you feel like you need help. Go get it. Me,I actually feel calm now. I dont think I'm pissed off anymore.I think I might just be borred with it all.

Rubb.

 

[VaBusa]

OK, so what are you doing to fill your days? Are you working a normal job? Something fulfilling? Going out with anyone? Friends?

Don't isolate yourself; that is dangerous and I know I've been guilty of it myself from time to time, when things get tough. You do tend to spiral. GET OUT and go do something, anything...

 

[rubbersidedown]

Rb brotha move down here to iowa.....we will have a blast running the bikes! i have a huge basement 2000 sq ft i would be more then happy to rent ya a giant shop to play around in and there are plenty of jobs around here!

NOW THIS ^ that is one cool person.

I may be this and that but I am still articulate with a keyboard.


Viperwhite... you sir are an' exceptional human. RSD.

 

[rubbersidedown]

M. I have nothing to do. . And all day to do it.

 

[RedBusarider]

I have nothing to do. . And all day to do it.

Come to my place - I have plenty of work your you. Hope you like cleaning and organizing.

 

[newman]

When I got divorced I moved from Iceland back to England leaving my two boys aged 7 and 12 behind, I fell to pieces, drinking and taking drugs.
Tried to kill myself.
Didn't even think what it would do to my boys, that's how bad I was.
Ended up in intensive care on a dialysis machine to clean all the muck out of my system and had to be taught how to walk again properly.
It took me a long time to sort my life out.
Then I stopped drinking for over three years with the help of a charity in Walthamstow where I use to live and sorted myself out.

I never thought I'd meet anyone again, I was 42 and not very successful with women.
Then I met Lynne which is one of the best things which has happened to me.
It was unexpected and it just went from there and now we have been together 17 years.

What I'm trying to say is don't give up on life because the most brilliant things can happen when you least expect it.
Anyway you can reach out to people here on the org and I hope they can help you find piece of mind.
Just stick with life and I'm sure it will get better.

Sent with love Dave.

 

[Trash_Panda_44]

You got friends on here that care about you as you can see. I don't know you on that level but they do and have your back. Listen to what they are saying and they will listen back. I've been where you are, it's not fun but it's not the end my friend. Tomorrow is another day. I've done it twice and the one thing that gets me through is my kids. Keep your head up ah

 

[VIPER]

My offer is true and and sincere ! Your good people hate to see good people down. I been there rub. I got a divorce roughly 8 years ago. It was rough even when i remarried etc. Ex turned my kids against me, took my house, my bike, my vehicles, and tons and tons of money. I been there and done that not too long ago! If i can help pick a fellow brother up i sure as hell will. I stand by my offer of any and all assistance i can give ya. if you need to chat let me know via private message i will get you my number. My "buddy line" is open 24 7!

 

[rubbersidedown]

Thanks folks. Crying again. Feel stoopid and alone.

Thx guys dave keaton,viperwhite.

I wont share the pm from viper. I dont do that but.

Only here folks,only on the org. Viperwhite.

Andy.

 

[rubbersidedown]

important safety tip. Stop listening to Crash test dummies and Hootie and the blowfish when you are feeling down. It wont help.
Trust me, RSD.

 

[rubbersidedown]

my apartment stinks of booze and cigarettes. This is a helpful post I hope. If you are currently attempting to kill yourself with booze/drugs and cigattetes. I can only tell you. It wont work. You will only die broke.

 

[rubbersidedown]

im gonna go a head and comment on my own post.

That ^ shi7 funny.

 

[TallTom]

Man. I haven't been as down as you, but I have been down pretty low. Grit your teeth. STOP DRINKING. Trust me it will solve nothing and most certainly can make it worse. Not to mention you need that money right now.

Take up ViperWhite or whomever can help. It may just change your life forever.

I once lived in a hooker hotel for 2 months burning through my last credit card. Had my wife at the time living through that with me. I was lower than snail snot. I could have turned bad and survived. Instead I actually reached out for help. I didn't even have enough money to get there. It was so bad I couldn't even get a bank account because my address was questionable. He sent me gas money. We lived in his garage for 3 months. It made an impression that will never go away.

While living in his garage I took on a job as a Utility locator. An ad in the paper for temp help for Koch Industries. Through that I realized that I could offer private locating services for everything the utility companies didn't locate. Which was a LOT. I turned that into savings, a new car, a new living. Before it was over it turned into a very lucrative business for as long as the construction industry boomed. I couldn't make money fast enough for about 3 years there. I left there (hated Kansas) and turned the company over to his children. This became Central Locating Service. They became very well off from its sale. I had paid my debt back to him and his family. And that started me into my new life. Everybody was better off for helping me when I needed it.





Don't become what you have to do now to survive. Make this temporary in your mind. Then put your pride aside...and be willing to hustle.

 

[rubbersidedown]

I will always love this site ^ this group of people.

Honesty.

Thanks,andy.