Doctor visit...

[GJoker]

Seems you don't get accepted by many in here unless you have something to contribute~ I'm sorry to say I'm not very mechanically inclined~ I'm typically a quiet person and don't speak unless I know for sure what I'm talking about or can back it with concrete evidence~ That's just the way I am...
So I figured I could at least contribute a little laughter to some of you~I like laughter.. it is a powerful thing and actually very healthy to your mind, body, and soul~ My sense of humor can be pretty warped at times.. can't please everyone, but I can try~
No offense is ever intended to anyone with my posted jokes~ There's just some things I find pretty funny and feel the need to share the laughter~
That being said... here's my contribution for the week~ 

Gay Guy goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The doctor comes back and says "Guy, I'm not going to
beat around the bush. You have AIDS."

Guy is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"

"Eat 1 sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots
drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts
and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape Nuts cereal, and top
it off with a gallon of prune juice.

Guy asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a much
better understanding of what your ass is for!"

 

[pure_ego]

hahahah...

pillow biters.. lol

 

[pure_ego]

i bet somebody gets offended.. this site a little too PC for it's own good at times.

 

[thrasherfox]

Two boys in Boston were playing basketball when one of them was attacked by
a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off a
near by fence, wedged it into the dog's collar and twisted it, breaking the
dog's neck.
A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and
rushed over to interview the boy. The reporter began entering data into his
laptop, beginning with the headline: "Brave Young Celtics Fan Saves Friend
From Jaws Of Vicious Animal."
"But I'm not a Celtics fan," the little hero interjected.
"Sorry," replied the reporter. "But since we're in Boston, Mass, I just
assumed you were."
Hitting the delete key, the reporter began "John Kerry Fan rescues Friend
From Horrific Dog Attack."
"But I'm not a Kerry fan either," the boy responds.
The reporter says, "I assumed everybody in this state was either for the
Celtics or Kerry or Kennedy. What team or person do you like? "
"I'm a Houston Rockets fan and I really like George W. Bush" the boy says.
Hitting the delete key, the reporter begins again,
"Arrogant Little Conservative Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet.

 

[monsterspeedfreak]

 

[Pipefighter248]

 

[GJoker]

Two boys in Boston were playing basketball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler....

Even funnier when you stop to think.. "

, it could happen"~

 

[billbell]

Funny $hit!

 

[BigBSBusa]

LOL!

 

[sageronin]

Funny and true ... the media does have that kind of power!

 

[bacharles]

O.K. I've got one:

What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?

Give up? They both have little boy's pants half off...

One more:

When is it bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?

Give? When the BIG hand is on the LITTLE hand...

Get it? If not, laugh anyway...then figure the poop out later on!

No disrespect to Michael Jackson or anyone involved. I'm not here to plead guilt or innocence, but I found this poop to be quite funny despite all the controversy.

Brian

 

[Criss123]

 

[flyboy]

 

[fstbusa]

what did the woman say to michael jackson while on the beach...


hey GET OUTTA MY SON!!!

 

[justintime2]

What kind of bee gives milk?

A Boo-bee!

Get it?

My contribution is so lame it is actually making me laugh!

 

[BigDawg_03Busa]

 

[Deuces]

Here's a good one...

Q:  What has four legs and one arm?


A:  A happy pitbull



Sorry for all the dog lovers.  I actually like pitbulls and think that if trained right they can be good pets, but I couldn't resist.. It's too funny.



<!--EDIT|Deuces
Reason for Edit: "Can't spell"|1085290895 -->

 

[bacharles]

What kind of bee gives milk?

A Boo-bee!

Get it?

My contribution is so lame it is actually making me laugh!

Actually it took me a couple seconds to think about it, but I did have to put at least one of these

on my face. Just glad you didn't give us one of those lame ass knock-knock jokes...

Brian

 

[Mikey D]

Knock, knock.

ohh never mind.

 

[pure_ego]

knock knock,
who' der?
cantaloupe..
cataloupe who?
cantaloupe tonight, dads got the car!

just for Iced..