Divorce dilemma

[jellyrug]

I just had a sales director in my office, says he is planning to leave the country and he told me something I found interesting, he is divorced.

Makes $140,000 per year, has to pay alimony and child support to his ex-wife at 40% of his income. Has to pay 40% tax, leaves him 20% , or $28,000 a year to get by with, lives in DC, so he is below the poverty line.

Says 70% of men his age have been divorced at some time, means they all have the same problem. Means there is no future for a man in the USA.???

Wow, that came after I told him most Americans are spoilt, they don't know how good they have it over here.

Did I just learn something?

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

So what position is it he's leaving and how soon can I interview

 

[Twobrothersbusa]

Roughly 85K to 178K is taxed at 28% not 40. What you've learned is he doesn't do his own taxes...

 

[1busa]

Yes you did learn something........... Don't get divorced

 

[zukracer]

the saying "its cheaper to keep her" comes to mind

honestly the child support and alimony are things he either agreed to or got assigned to in court. Alimony can end, usually after a period of time unless he was dumb enough to agree to "until she remarries" then she can just collect forever as long as she can have a non-married partnership. His tax rate is totally boned up, as mentioned even straight tax is like 28% unless of course he's talking total with fed + DC + state taxes ??? Even then 12% more would be hefty, even NYC doesnt add that much....close but not 12%.

And yes a lot of folks are divorced. Hell I'd be if I didnt have my daughter. I stay and try to make things work for her because I want her to have a good life and I guess things aren't *that* bad with the wife....... and because its cheaper to keep my wife than leave her

Curious though, what is he moving out of the country for? Work, life or does it somehow get him a break from his financial obligation?

 

[TallTom]

30% vs 40% is 14K. Not that big a diff in the big picture. First child support is what it is. If he fathers them, he has a responsibility to pay a percentage of his income to support them. Man up and be man if you are gonna have kids. He can try and play a numbers game with the courts and may come out slightly better on that with a good attorney, but he makes what he makes and the courts are pretty definite on how that plays out.

Alimony is the part that he probably got screwed the most on. Lots of factors there, including the state they get divorced in. But that comes down to attorneys and what mood the judge is in at the time of the ruling.

If he leaves the country, what does he have for income? He can live well in many places for 30K a year, OK for 20K and meagerly for less than 20K. Ask me how I know. (I'm doing the same thing).

Divorces are the most expensive thing I have ever gone through. 24 years of marriage she announced she was not getting enough out of our marriage. I'm sorry honey, I'm working 80 hour weeks, and can barely find time to make you dinner when you work late. By the way honey, with all this overtime you're putting in, umm how come you have no extra money?

At the start she and I agreed between us, peacefully, that I would give her half of my 401K, half my pension, all of the household furnishings except my bedroom and tools in the garage. My one vehicle. She could have the house she lived in and I'd sign it over as it was. She could have lived there for a total of $525/month plus whatever she had for utilities. Rarely more than $200/month on the worst months for me. I agreed to take on all the debt and the larger house. No alimony. (She made more than I did). She agreed that it seemed very much in her favor but she wanted to have an attorney "look it over". I had no objection to that.

Enter the divorce attorney! She hired the best attorneys she could find.

It took me 3 years and 200K to get mine over with. In the end she got nothing but the furniture in the house, and her car which she was paying for.

She got no alimony, no 401k, no retirement pension. My attorney was so pleased at how well he did for me. DID FOR ME!??! How do you figure 200K, all the debt and putting a house into foreclosure was a GOOD THING for me? His response. "Well it would have cost you more if you would have paid alimony, half of retirement and half of 401K. Boy do I feel like I made out good.

That was 5 years ago. I now have no debt, all my retirement, all my 401K, and live within my means. I am now better off and will regain all I lost to get through it. But yes living somewhere else seems pretty good as the past few years have really made me become concerned with the health of this nation and the ethics that runs it.

2 parties made out in my divorce. The divorce attorneys on both sides.

I am seriously considering Thailand, Cambodia, Panama, Chile, and going to scope out NZ in the next year or so. All of which have very nice standards of living in very adequate lifestyles.

 

[mabupa]

Sounds like 70% of my coworkers. Even though they don't make that much money. One guy comes to mind. He got married, decided to adopt the wife's kids(2) and then she left him to go back with her ex and put him on child support while her and kids live the good life with the kid's BIOLOGICAL father!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told him if it was me I would be dead or in jail!!

 

[busa-saga]

Yes you did learn something........... Don't get divorced

even better, don't get married!

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

Forget all that just tell me when I can interview for the now open position

 

[lankeeyankee]

Learn something from this... DONT GET MARRIED!

 

[Adox]

Pre-nup.'s aren't always bulletproof, but they sure do help a lot of guys out. My bud kept everything but the engegement ring (forgot to include it) and his only problem is the calls of his X wanting to get back together. (But he has a good woman now.)

 

[Big Bo]

The income she gets from him is taxed from his pay. He files his taxes, and the taxes he paid on the income for her, he gets credit for, and she has to pay taxes onm that income. Still you get screwed.

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

Geesh already! Somebody just tell me when I'm moving to Nc!


I am in sales you know. If I can convince a SoFla retiree to write me a check for $50k I can do anything.

 

[mr8ball]

I once dated a lady that had got a DV and she got 1400 a month alimony. They had no kids. She worked for the post office and made around 25 bucks an hr. I agree that men should have to take care of the kids but to pay a woman alimony for the rest of you life is just crazy. Yes, he did run around on her but that is always a 2 way street. Both have to do their part. She once told me that he would go to his grave paying her and that she felt he should pay for the rest of his life for what he had done. She also said she would never get married agin just for that reason. Now the good part My son get a Divorce because he caught his ex running around on him. I got the same lawyer that the lady I was dating had. She (the lawyer) told my son that because he grabbed her in the heat of the moment while arguing that he could not win in court and he really got screwed. Seemed like it was OK for thee woman to do it but not the man. I think I would just have to go to jail before I would pay a woman to lay with another man while I had to work and pay her every month. JMO I think if a woman is able to work she should not be able to get that thing called alimony Its such a joke.

 

[Busa1166]

I just had a sales director in my office, says he is planning to leave the country and he told me something I found interesting, he is divorced.

Makes $140,000 per year, has to pay alimony and child support to his ex-wife at 40% of his income. Has to pay 40% tax, leaves him 20% , or $28,000 a year to get by with, lives in DC, so he is below the poverty line.

Says 70% of men his age have been divorced at some time, means they all have the same problem. Means there is no future for a man in the USA.???

Wow, that came after I told him most Americans are spoilt, they don't know how good they have it over here.

Did I just learn something?

Guess you did, you are better off jumping off a cliff than saying "I do".

 

[semi]

if you're going to have a kid, expect to have to pay one way or another...as far as marriage- pre-nup, pre-nup, pre-nup! i've been divorced twice and haven't given either one of them a dime since we split...i've lost several relationships since then when i mentioned i would NEVER get married without one and it was 100% worth it