RaiderDm
Registered
Dear Ivan,
Hey, how's it going out there near Jamaica? Listen, lots of
us here in Florida have been talking about your scheduled
visit. Now please don't take this the wrong way. We like
spectacular forces of nature as well as the next guy. We
realize that Florida & hurricanes go together like country
music & drunken driving. We don't want to miss with tradition.
We know you hurricanes recharge the aquifers, provide an
exhilarating break in the stifling heat of late summer &
give the neighbors a chance to bond. The economic boost you
give to Home Depot/ Loew's alone is enough to make up for whatever
inconvenience is to be expected. So normally you would be
as welcome as a gang of Hardley riders during Bike Week.
May I say that this year the timing of your tentatively
scheduled arrival seems less than ideal. You know that visitors
start to wear out their welcome after a few days. That too
many visitors in a row can also wear down a host. That, I'm
sorry to say, is pretty much the position we Floridians find
ourselves in now.
Your cousin Charles blew through a few weeks ago and to be
blunt was less than mannerly. He zoomed in like a hyper
active toddler, leaving the proverbial path of destruction,
except there was no proverb. Then he was gone without so much
as a see-ya-later. Charley was a leave wet towels on the floor,
never pick up the tab kinda guest. He inspired some grumbling.
Picking up after him has been a real chore. You should've seen
Punta Gorda, Port Charlotte, Arcadia & Wauchula.
At least Charles didn't stay long. Just when we were starting
to get things back to almost normal, Frances sauntered in.
I don't mean to be crass but she was HUGH. When she hung
around the state, she hung around the state, ya know what I mean?
You know how some guests just don't leave? That's Frances.
Even when we were looking at our watches & yawning & singing
"The Party's Over" she just stayed & stayed.
Some of us who hadn't really rolled out the red carpet for
Charles decided to prepare a lot more for Frances. Maybe we
just tired ourselves out. then she stalled & arrived late
which is always irritating. She wasn't as wild as Charles,
I'll admit. Those rumors about Frances becoming a Cat 5 turned
out to be overblown. Shejust sort of oozed through. I went
to bed Sunday night & woke up thinking she'd be long gone at
last. But she was still here Monday morning.
So a lot of us here are thinking enough is enough for one year.
Actually the experience of back to back hurricanes has some
people talking about cancelling hurricane season entirely.
Don't worry, Floridians won't go that far. We may consider
moving it to a nicer time of year though. We know hurricanes
like it hot, but doing without A/C would be alot nicer in
November or maybe March so as not to interfere with football
season. I mean did you see where Frances actually caused the
postponement of a Gator football game? People will put up
with a lot, but let's be reasonable here!
Some are saying we should limit the number of 'canes
allowed into FLorida in one year. There is some debate as to
whether the limit should be 1 or 2. There is however, wide
agreement that 3 is too many.
So Ivan here is the point, Florida's famous hospitality is
pretty much tapped out just now. Our enthusiasm for big
winds & rains and for TV reporters gushing forth excited
discriptions of it all < not to mention being too stupid to
come in out of the rain> has bogged down like a riding
lawnmower In the swamp that used to be my backyard.
As I said its nothing personal, Ivan, But what would you say
to making alternative travel plans?
I understand Mexico is lovely this time of year.
<!--EDIT|RaiderDm
Reason for Edit: "1068"|1094850254 -->
Hey, how's it going out there near Jamaica? Listen, lots of
us here in Florida have been talking about your scheduled
visit. Now please don't take this the wrong way. We like
spectacular forces of nature as well as the next guy. We
realize that Florida & hurricanes go together like country
music & drunken driving. We don't want to miss with tradition.
We know you hurricanes recharge the aquifers, provide an
exhilarating break in the stifling heat of late summer &
give the neighbors a chance to bond. The economic boost you
give to Home Depot/ Loew's alone is enough to make up for whatever
inconvenience is to be expected. So normally you would be
as welcome as a gang of Hardley riders during Bike Week.
May I say that this year the timing of your tentatively
scheduled arrival seems less than ideal. You know that visitors
start to wear out their welcome after a few days. That too
many visitors in a row can also wear down a host. That, I'm
sorry to say, is pretty much the position we Floridians find
ourselves in now.
Your cousin Charles blew through a few weeks ago and to be
blunt was less than mannerly. He zoomed in like a hyper
active toddler, leaving the proverbial path of destruction,
except there was no proverb. Then he was gone without so much
as a see-ya-later. Charley was a leave wet towels on the floor,
never pick up the tab kinda guest. He inspired some grumbling.
Picking up after him has been a real chore. You should've seen
Punta Gorda, Port Charlotte, Arcadia & Wauchula.
At least Charles didn't stay long. Just when we were starting
to get things back to almost normal, Frances sauntered in.
I don't mean to be crass but she was HUGH. When she hung
around the state, she hung around the state, ya know what I mean?
You know how some guests just don't leave? That's Frances.
Even when we were looking at our watches & yawning & singing
"The Party's Over" she just stayed & stayed.
Some of us who hadn't really rolled out the red carpet for
Charles decided to prepare a lot more for Frances. Maybe we
just tired ourselves out. then she stalled & arrived late
which is always irritating. She wasn't as wild as Charles,
I'll admit. Those rumors about Frances becoming a Cat 5 turned
out to be overblown. Shejust sort of oozed through. I went
to bed Sunday night & woke up thinking she'd be long gone at
last. But she was still here Monday morning.
So a lot of us here are thinking enough is enough for one year.
Actually the experience of back to back hurricanes has some
people talking about cancelling hurricane season entirely.
Don't worry, Floridians won't go that far. We may consider
moving it to a nicer time of year though. We know hurricanes
like it hot, but doing without A/C would be alot nicer in
November or maybe March so as not to interfere with football
season. I mean did you see where Frances actually caused the
postponement of a Gator football game? People will put up
with a lot, but let's be reasonable here!
Some are saying we should limit the number of 'canes
allowed into FLorida in one year. There is some debate as to
whether the limit should be 1 or 2. There is however, wide
agreement that 3 is too many.
So Ivan here is the point, Florida's famous hospitality is
pretty much tapped out just now. Our enthusiasm for big
winds & rains and for TV reporters gushing forth excited
discriptions of it all < not to mention being too stupid to
come in out of the rain> has bogged down like a riding
lawnmower In the swamp that used to be my backyard.
As I said its nothing personal, Ivan, But what would you say
to making alternative travel plans?
I understand Mexico is lovely this time of year.
<!--EDIT|RaiderDm
Reason for Edit: "1068"|1094850254 -->
