I would still like to know what was going on in his life that he thought this was the answer.
My father killed himself when I was 9 years old. He was bi-polar. NO one can tell you what are going throught their minds... we can gues that they feel alone, worthless and it's dark and negative. Something that most of us don't know, can't understand. Could be that all they DO know is that they want it to end.. they can't take it anymore, and death is the only way out.
That's a shame, cuz I'm sure his girlfriend is gonna be guilt ridden for a long time. For no reason.
Glad that you weren't injured... sure is an eye opener!
I'm glad you're okay. I feel for the victim, but I'm glad no one else got hurt.
What goes through someone's mind before they commit suicide?
It's rough, so bare with me.
Imagine that you’re in a foreign country, and you don't speak their language. How do you ask for help if no one can understand you? You're don't know how to ask for help. You begin to loose hope.
You linger, for a while, in a state of numbness. You isolate yourself mentally from the people that care about you. You begin to separate yourself from your friends and family physically. You quite caring about yourself. You loose your own self respect. You feel like you have no dignity.
Hope has faded long ago. You now feel empty. Like you have no value, or reason to exist. First you worry about the people you'll leave behind. Then you start thinking about who you want to have your possessions. You begin to think of the different ways to end your life, to end the suffering.
You don't care about anything anymore. You don't care how you do it, or who is left with the mess. You forget what it feels like to care. You forget what it's like to be loved.
The suffering is going on without a reason, without caring or love, forever. You've already died emotionally and mentally, your body is just waiting to die! But it won't! Your body won't die, and you want it too! You’re trapped in a world that you don't know anymore, and you can't get out!
You start wishing for something to happen to you that will kill you, but it doesn't so you have to find a way out!
No hope. No reason to live. No light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe you'll do it with a gun? You have a gun! Get it! Load it! Good. Now put it in your mouth! No one will be able to stop you. It's almost over now! Pull the trigger and it'll all be over. All the suffering will be gone soon, just pull the trigger!
"Knock, knock, knock!" Someone's at the door. Should you answer it? "Are you okay in there?" says the voice of a friend. Do you finish yourself off, or do you answer your friend?
This is the critical moment that doesn't come for many people! I've heard people say that they had a feeling they should call someone, then found out that person had ended their life that day. They could've been saved by a phone call!
Some people only get part way through this before someone realizes that they need help. If you go too far, you don't want help. You just want it to end.
A friend interrupted me. He wanted to tell me I had a phone call. It was my Guardian Angel. She called because she felt she should. My Guardian Angel's name is Fiona. She became my wife. She came into my life at my lowest point. I was a mess! She cared for me when I didn't care for myself. She loved me when I didn't love myself. She took away my suffering, and replaced it with reasons to live! Herself and 2 boys that I'm now raising as my own. I now know it's worth it!
God was looking out for me. He sent Fiona to pull me through.
I have never shared this with anyone but my Angel. She still doesn't know I was sucking on the barrel of a pistol when she called to check on me. I was pulling the trigger back when the knock on the door came. I was less than a second away from ending it all. One second!
Please! If you get the urge to call someone you know, do it! Do it right away! It could be the best thing that ever happened to them!
I was also diagnosed as bi-polar when I was 29. By that time I had gone through major depression several times throughout my adult life. At times I bottomed out twice a year or more. The problem with bi-polar disorder is that you go through it over and over and over. Sometimes it's worse than others. Sometimes it's so bad you can't pull through by yourself.
Some people think I have a death wish because I ride a Busa. Just the opposite. I now want to live, and experience life! I almost didn't get the chance.
God Speed all!
