CHILDREN AND MOTORCYCLES

[un4gvn]

I HAD A REALLY BAD WRECK (HEAD ON)WITH MY SON ON BACK WHEN HE WAS ABOUT 9.DRUNK PULLED OUT OF BAR,THOUGHT HE WAS ON ONE WAY,CENTERED ME.LAID BIKE DOWN WENT UNDER CAR,ETC,ETC.
SON IS NOW 20 AND UP UNTIL NOW HAD SHOWN NO INTEREST.BOUGHT HIM A VERY SMALL BIKE FOR CHRISTMAS,CRASHED XMAS DAY.
TOOK MSF COURSE WITH HIM ONE WEEK LATER,HE BEAT ME ON ALL TESTING SCORES HAD A LOT OF FUN.
TRADED IN CRASH BIKE FOR SMALL CRUISER NEXT WEEK,CRASHED LAST NITE.
WHILE I AM GLAD HE HAS NOT BEEN HURT TOO BAD,I AM BEGINNING TO LOSE INTEREST IN FINANCING HIS MOTORCYCLE EDUCATION.I AM JUST DISGUSTED,WE DIDNT EVEN GET TO RIDE TOGETHER ONCE BECAUSE HE CRASHED BOTH BIKES WHILE MINE WAS IN SHOP.
I AM STARTING TO THINK IT JUST WASNT MEANT TO BE,
I HAVE CRASHED MANY BIKES WHILE I WAS YOUNG,BUT I SEEM TO REMEMBER STRUGGLING TO REPAIR AND / OR ACQUIRE ANOTHER BIKE .HE IS A GOOD KID AND I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH,BUT I DONT THINK I AM DOING HIM ANY GOOD BY REPLACING BIKES.
I AM MOSTLY JUST BITCHING I GUESS ??

MAYBE IF WE REPAIR BIKE TOGETHER AND HE PAYS FOR PARTS ,DOES LABOR,ETC I CAN SALVAGE THE SITUATION SOME,
I KNOW IM GLAD I DIDNT GET HIM A GSXR OR SOMETHING

 

[STUNNAH]

Maybe it's the cost thing that is getting you down also...We all want to show a sort of interest in our kids and I really couldn't think of a better way of sharing time than on separate bikes...See if you can get him to help with the repair to show ownership if not give up unless you can afford the replacements...

 

[bacharles]

I totally agree with Stunnah. It's best that he understands that you won't finance his mistakes whether they are his fault or not. Too many times, parents unknowingly buys their children's affections. Now don't take this as though I am saying you and your son is in that situation, but responsibility is the best lesson you can teach your son. Just my .02 if you want it.



Brian

 

[STUNNAH]

I totally agree with Stunnah.  It's best that he understands that you won't finance his mistakes whether they are his fault or not.  Too many times, parents unknowingly buys their children's affections.  Now don't take this as though I am saying you and your son is in that situation, but responsibility is the best lesson you can teach your son.  Just my .02 if you want it.



                                      Brian

Responsibility that's the word that had escaped me...You can't always be the crutch for your kids...Sometimes you have to let them suffer...

 

[Thinker62]

I agree with the other guys. At 20 years old, you need to cut that cord. It is great to give a gift, but after that, it is important to learn the importance and satisfaction of doing for one's self. If he came out of his pocket, he just might be a little more cautious.

 

[un4gvn]

WELL I APPRECIATE EMPATHY AND ADVICE
PAID ME BACK FOR 2ND BIKE TODAY AND I HAVE GIVEN HIM A LIST OF LOCAL SALVAGE YARDS TO CALL.
THERE IS QUITE A LOT MORE BAGGAGE TO THIS RELATIONSHIP THAN ONE OR TWO BIKES,TRYING TO GET BACK INTO HIS LIFE SOMEWHAT ON A DIFFERENT SORT OF LEVEL THAN IN THE PAST .
A MORE LEVEL PLAYING FIELD THAN A FATHER AND SON
RELATIONSHIP.
HE IS AN ARTISTIC ,MUSICAL,AND ELECTRONICS TYPE PERSON AND I AM A PREACHERS SON WITH A LIFELONG ATTITUDE PROBLEM. LOOKING FOR SOME NEUTRAL GROUND

 

[Max Speed]

My son is now 25years old he never got into cycles and it was because of me. My wife and him came up on me at an accident with a cycle, he was about 10 years old (I was on duty at the time) He watched me put the guy in a rubber body bag on the side of the road. I at the time had no idea he was around, they were blended in with other traffic. He to this day will not have a thing to do with cycles. I at times wish he never would have seen that, but it made him a better driver in the end. He Knows that not being safe can have a price.

 

[ks-waterbug]

Food for thought. Forgiveness breaks the chain of causality because he who forgives you -- out of love--takes upon himself the consequences of what you have done. Forgiveness, therefore, always entails a sacrifice.
Author: Dag Hjalmar Agné Carl Hammarskjold[/QUOTE]
and one more
Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again. St Augustine[/QUOTE]

 

[un4gvn]

LOOK AT THE BIRDS OF THE AIR,THEY DO NOT SOW OR REAP OR STORE AWAY IN BARNS,AND YET YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER FEEDS THEM.ARE YOU NOT MUCH MORE VALUABLE THAN THEY??

 

[ks-waterbug]

Matthew 6:26
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

Psalms 32:1 check it out.

 

[discreet007]

OK, guys I don't know the bible and there aren't any explanations with those.

I think it is very important for you to keep trying to get to that level with your son. I am 31 and my Dad is 68. We have nothing in common and not much to talk about. I love him, but I wish there was a common ground. Good luck.

 

[STUNNAH]

There's always a common ground although sometimes it is difficult to find...And it can't be found by one it has to be discovered by both...To often we spoil our children with the material things that we did not have and actually create a barrier that over time grows...And when we do want to establish that bond we have no idea where to start...If your interested in any of the things that he does that may be your opportunity to get into his world and allow him to rediscover you...Cost minimal...Experience Priceless...

 

[race24x]

Just my opinion but even if you guys work on the bike together and he dicides to sell it you are doing something together right ? My father and I do everything together he isnt into bikes like I am his nephew died in a wreck and he was there to see it . He did try to buy a bike when I was about 24-5 he couldnt bring himself to ride it so he sold it . We ride snowmobiles and I work in his garage on my spare time (he has a full garage including lift for himself not a business) I have built alot of stuff in that garage lifted trucks race cars he is always there to help me keep me calmed down when something is getting the better of me (still a whine ass at 32) . Years of going with him when he was a truck driver and working with him in the quarry crushing rocks when he did construction. I was just a kid 10 till about 16 had to hide from IMSHAW and OSHA but got to drive everything unforgetable memories that I will cherish forever. He is not my blood father but he is my dad

 

[Racer 222]

My son gets his first bike next month. He has been asking for one for 3 years. He is only 6. More details to follow...

Marc "Howlin Mad"

 

[jwcfbd]

It sounds like he is off to a rough start but atleast he is getting back on the horse. I know that after I wrecked mine I was nervous getting back on it but there was no way that I was going to give it up. I first ride I took was to the gas station. Once I hit the main road I opened it up and broke 100mph to see if I could do it. Once I stopped at the gas station I had to set there for a minute to let my hands stop shaking so I could get the nozzle in the tank. I freaked myself out a couple of times but I just kept after it. Now I ride like it never happened but I do ride with more sense than I did before. I learned my limits the hard way.