Been away for a while, had a bad month

Fate

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Have not been on here much. Have had a lot of stuff go wrong in my life lately. I had gone down to Florida about a year and a half ago to take my grandfather back home after he broke his arm visiting us in Missouri. My grandma was getting Alzeimers but was in beginning stages. I got him down to his trailer in Lake City area and saw how he was living and decided I had to get him in a property near me in Missouri. He had garbage everywhere, dirty clothes, rotten food in fridge. Anyway, after 4 dumpsters full of garbage, and missing work for 2 weeks, we got house clean. I lined up assistance, cleaning service, hospice, meals on wheels, nurse and theropy for them and left to go back to Missouri to find a house that I could get for them. A week later my grandma got really sick between a Saturday and Sunday (the only days no one was over at there house). On Monday, the nurse found my grandma in a non responsive state and my grandpa thought she was only sleeping. I got down there as quick as I could. My mother went down and checked on my grandma, then in hospital, once. Made my grandfather pay for her flight and as I packed there stuff to get them up to my house to live with me, she went through their stuff and storage unit an hour away from there house to decide what she wanted to keep for herself. She was only concerned with there stuff and a feud started between my mother and me and my grandpa. He was very upset with her. She had packed all there wedding gifts, rings and other items in boxes for me to take to her house marked For her and not to open. My grandpa had some choice words with her and she left in a huff, back home. I lost any respect I had for my mother. Anyway, got back home with my grandma and grandpa. My grandmas Alzimers had gotten worse and we had to put her in a home, but me and grandpa were close enough to visit her alot. I decided to move grandpa in with me. My mom made a trip to get the stuff she marked in boxes not to open, which my grandfather had decided to look through and he told her she could not have the items, a fight broke out and my mother caused a scene in front of my kids and I asked her to leave. It got worse and I told her I was calling the police. I was unhappy with the way she was acting and honestly would have rather her had taken all the stuff that filled my garage now, but it was my grandpa's stuff and he had a right to keep it. My mother has always been all about herself and has done alot of things in the past that were worth me never talking to her, but this was the last thing I could handle. I cut all ties to her and will never allow my children near her again. She still, talks bad about me to anyone that will listen. Well, this was all over a year ago and I have had no contact with her since. I did ship some items, against my grandpas wishes, to just get her off our backs.

Taking care of my grandfather has been really rough. I am self employed, and work has suffered. But I was willing to do whatever it takes for my grandfather. He had taken me in when I was in a really bad state of mind in my teens which had alot to do with my parents. He was always the one I turned to and he was always there for me and I got to pay him back for that. He started to get worse and we had to hire a nurse to help us with him. I had alot of deals not going through at work and money got tight. I had a failing septic system at my house and was sighted for it and was threatened to have my house condemed. It was a small leach at the end of my property, but they don't care. They ordered me to replace whole system. Then my grandpa started have problems and had to get up to use the restroom every hour and I had to help him. I was working with no sleep every night and started getting sick. My grandfather felt bad and tried to make it to the bathroom on his own one night and fell and broke his arm. I rushed him to the hospital and they recommended and extended stay faiclity while his arm healed. It was a relief for me and my family who were not getting much sleep. During all this, I had gotten an idea about starting an assisted living facility and had located a motel which use to be a facility in Florida. I flew down and checked it out. I decided I was going to buy one and get it up and running. I wanted to start a facility that was for low income. My grandfather could not afford to go to one and I felt other people had to be in the same position as me. I then found out about small facilities that were cheaper to run and had great one on one with the residents. I started researching them. I put a property under contract that would work for this and decided to change my current field of work and slowly switch into buying these type of facilities. I still had a bunch of stuff to deal with in Missouri, and needed those deals to close so that I had the $$ to live on while I get these properties in florida up and going. Meanwhile, I had to go to court over my septic. I was getting overwhelmed. Then I come down with the flu thought goes into Pnemonia. I could not visit my grandfather, in fear of getting him sick, during the time I am unable to see him, he passes away in the hospital. This comes out of the blue. He was not sick and was really happy when I saw him last. I told him that everything was working out in Florida, which was the only positive thing happening. I asked him if he wanted to move into one of the facilities when I had it up and running. He said he really liked it where he was in the extended care/home. He wanted to know if I could move gram there. I said that would be ok, but we had an outstanding bill at the other home. My grandpa made to much money for medicaid, but not enough to afford the home she was in. The bill kept getting higher and higher. I had paid a person to help us get grandma on medicaid and we had to jump through a bunch of hoops. I told him I would get her there soon. He passed away before I could get her there. When he died, I lost it. He was the one that was always there for me. Since I was born, they raised me and kept me sane dealing with my mother. I have always been someone that stayed positive, and could fix the unfixable. I could handle anything. But I have not been able to keep from drowning in the pool of shi$ lately. I decided to focus on my deal in Florida, which is still going good. I figured if I could atleast get something positive going, I could manage to tread water. I borrowed a friends trailer to take a bunch of stuff down for the new facility and decided to load my Hayabusa and store it down here in Florida so that I could get some riding in. That is one thing that seems to take away all my problems. I jump on my bike and everything seems ok. One the way down, my ex-fiancee calls me. I had called my brother, who still lives with my parents and is 30. Told him about grandpa and told him to tell my parents to call so we could arrange a time for them to see him. He told me to call my mom. She had changed her number and I was unable to call her. I called my brother back and told him to tell them. I never recieved a call back and figured she was still more cocerned over materialistic things and did not care to see them. Well, she had called my ex and told her that I would not allow them to see my grandfather which was a bunch of bull sh%%. I thought it was disgusting that they did not want to see him. He was going to be cremated as me and him had discussed and I plan to scatter his ashed where he showed my he wanted them. But I have been waiting a week and a half, in case they wish to see him first. I told my ex this and she said she would call them. This was Saturday. It is now Tuesday and no word from them. I was starting to feel better on my trip, Saturday, down to Florida, but then got that call. I was hoping to get my mind back on track with this trip. I stopped in Georgia at a Motel. Started out fresh the next morning. I cross the border into Florida and start driving past where my grandfather lived and it hits me. Right past Lake City, a tire on the trailer blows the middle rubber off. The trailer starts shaking, I pull off at as station and no one services tires on Sunday anywhere. I decide to drive on the tire, slow, until it blows. I only have 160 miles to go!!!! Well, it hold up for 60 miles and blows out in front of a Walmart. I pull over and run in. There are some people cleaning the auto section. I ask them if they are open and they say no. Crap, what now. I tell the guy what has happend and that I have a class in Tampa to get licensed to run the facility I am starting down here. If I miss the class I have to reschedule next month. He opens up for me and mounts a new tire for me. This, I feel is my turning point. I got down to Tampa and just finished my class today. I have another week of stuff to do down here. My closing got pushed off and have to find a place to store my trailer. I took my bike off and my biz parner that flew down here is going to drive my truck from Tampa to Ft. Meyers and I am riding down tommorrow. I am starting to feel better. I just have never been down like this before. I know I have to stay positive, I need to focus and just keep going. My grandfather was always the one I went to when things got bad and he is gone now. It is just really hard. I have to do this for my family. I am taking a big chance starting a whole new business. I am getting really low on money. I have to get as much done on this trip as I can, then have to fix all my deals up north. I am trying to get my head straight. I just remember reading alot of stories about Hayabusa brothers down and out on this board and remamber the advice I always have gien them. Always stay positive and sometimes things have to hit rock bottom before you can make your way back up. I just am sitting here thinking about my grandfather and what he would say to do. I feel this is one of those big turning points in my life. I am looking forward to helping people with my new business and it should ne really profitable too. My projected income is better than anything I have done in the past. I get to move back to my home state. My kids and wife are excited about that. I will be able to work less and spend more time with my kids once things are up and running. I have a great biz partner and he is as drivin as I am.

Thanks for listening, I am feeling better typing this.... Hope I did not bore anyone with this long post. I have just been needing to talk to someone and you guys are like family to me.
 
You are right. Mourn, fight and stay positive. You are on the verge of life changing greatness. Not only for you but for many others that need it.
You're a
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n inspiration bro!
God Bless you,
Bri
 
Sorry to hear about all this, Mike. Things will get better and you do need to stay positive even though it's difficult. Tough things (not bad things) happen to good people, but you will over come this and be back out sportin' the Busa, playing with thh kids and enjoying life.
 
Wow..., Hang in there my Brother! Will be praying for you to get things in order and your life back on track. After reading your post really makes you stop and appreciate the fact that there is no drama currently in my life. Good for you in taking care of your Grandparents and what tough decisions you had to make in the end. When you look back on this moment twenty-years from now it will all seem like a dream, hang tough knowing you did the right thing....
 
Things are going to get better for you now. Keep your head up and push forward.
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Your story brought tears to my eyes. God Bless you and your family....I know you will stay strong and persevere!
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Fate...WOW is all I can say man. You've been through a lot, but honestly through your post, I can see a strong person that knows he'll get through it all.

I'm so sorry about the messes with family. It's a b*tch when the most angst in your life comes from those closest to you. Let the stuff with Mom slide off; you'll feel better just walking away from that mess...

And I know how much grandfathers mean to us. I lost mine 3 years ago and it still stings to know I can't go visit him anymore. I am so sorry you weren't there to see him before he passed away, but he knew what he meant to you and I'm certain he appreciated you more than anything else in life for all that you did.

Hang in there and here's to everything GOOD coming your way
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Thanks guys. I feel better today and I think it is because I wrote it all down in a post. I have not really talked to alot of people about it. Just kind of kept it all bottled in. I am getting ready to gear up and jump on the Busa to head down to Ft. Meyers. I have a bunch to do in the next few days to keep my mind busy.
 
Your a good man mike! Hang in there, things will get better. You did what few people would be willing to do for your grandparents. I'm proud to call you my friend!
 
Keep pushing on Mike.. Stay positive, and things will get better..
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Sorry to here about your Grampa.. Again stay positive my friend.
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Fate, although I have never met you, I can tell you are a good man. Keep strong, and like others have said, let the mom thing slide off. Every family has issues. Some families are full of rational people that can communicate and act rationally. Other families have members that refuse to see the truth or reality and it becomes very very difficult to try and deal with things with them. (this is my case as well) In your heart, when you know you have done the best you can to resolve such issues, but the issues are still somewhat unresolved, you can walk away knowing you did everything you could to help correct the situation. Those family members who are only in it for certain things which benefit themselves will not be able to do the same. You have done all that you could, and probably even more. You have nothing to be ashamed about. Others down the road may realize how selfish and foolish they were. You did many things for your grandparents and that is admirable. I am sure your grandfather is looking down on you right this very minute smiling from ear to ear because he knows that you may not be talking right to him for comfort and help and guidance, but he is still sending it down to you and you are making the best of it. You will have great success with your business plans. Stay motivated. Be strong. Keep your head up. Great things are coming your way. Good luck with everything bro.
 
I think when things fall down, it's the only way for life to get momentum to get back up, much like a pendulum. When you hit the bottom of a pendulum swing, things are moving the fastest, and if you can manage to hang on, you have no choice but to experience a wonderful upswing.

IMO, you are very couragous and strong, and if it were up to me, you would be rewarded in a big way.
 
I am sorry for the misfortune you have been through. I dont know if this helps, but since you are already positive, try looking at little pieces of the big picture. Deal with one issue at a time until you have the big picture taken care of. I know everything seems overwhelming at times, but take one step at a time and you will get there. I am thankful you have family and a good business partner to help support you. Dont sweat your mother, it takes a lot of energy to stay angry, your focus is on better things.
 
I'd say hang in there, but after reading through your post, you've done that and plenty more. God bless you, your family, and your grandparents--and especially your grandfather for giving you the strength to keep moving forward through all these tough times.

You're an inspiration to anyone who reads your post.
 
I think when things fall down, it's the only way for life to get momentum to get back up, much like a pendulum. When you hit the bottom of a pendulum swing, things are moving the fastest, and if you can manage to hang on, you have no choice but to experience a wonderful upswing.

IMO, you are very couragous and strong, and if it were up to me, you would be rewarded in a big way.
I think that this is the best analogy I have heard in a long time.

You are doing the right thing. Push on, make a better life for your family, and remember, even though people have left us and moved on, their teachings, memories, and thoughts of them will drive us until we can return the favor to the next generation.

You are a good man, and I do hope to meet you some time, just to say I shook hands with someone of you caliber.
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Your a good man mike! Hang in there, things will get better. You did what few people would be willing to do for your grandparents. I'm proud to call you my friend!
Thanks, I have met alot of people here on this board and am glad to be able to say that I call all of them my friend, but you are one of the most stand up guys I have ever met and it means alot to be a friend of yours.
 
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