Hallmark cards

Col_Mustard

Donating Member
Registered
What cards don't say.......


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M y tire was thumping.


I thought it was flat


When I looked at the tire..


I noticed your cat


Sorry!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


H eard your wife left you,


How upset you must be.


But don't fret about it...


She moved in with me.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


L ooking back over the years


that we've been together,


I can't help but wonder...


"What the hell was I thinking?"


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C ongratulations on your wedding day!


Too bad no one likes your husband


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H ow could two people as beautiful as you


Have such an ugly baby?


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I 've always wanted to have


someone to hold,


someone to love.


After having met you .


I've changed my mind.


--------------------------------------


I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.


I never believed in Hell until I met you.


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A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...


That you're not here to ruin it for me.


##############################


C ongratulations on your promotion.


Before you go...


Would you like to take this knife out of my back?


You'll probably need it again.


************************************


H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!


(Available only in <st1:State w:st="on">Tennessee</st1:State> , <st1:State w:st="on">Kentucky</st1:State>, The Carolinas , & <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">West Virginia</st1:place></st1:State> )


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H appy birthday! You look great for your age.


Almost Lifelike!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


W hen we were together,


You always said you'd die for me.


Now that we've broken up,


I think it's time you kept your promise


///////////////////////////////


W e have been friends for a very long time..


Let's say we stop?


+++++++++++++++++++++++++


I 'm so miserable without you


it's almost like you're here.


==========================


C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.


Did you ever find out who the father was?


%%%%%%%%%%%%


Y our friends and I wanted to do
Something special for your birthday


So we're having you put to sleep.


)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


S o your daughter's a hooker,


And it spoiled your day.


Look at the bright side,


It's really good pay.
 
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