Worst joke competition

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Prezzo, Feb 22, 2008.

  1. Prezzo

    Prezzo Registered

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    Q. What shivers and shakes a the bottom of the sea
    A. A nervous wreck

    A man goes the doctors and says help I can't stop singing....
    The Green Green Grass of Home.
    Doctor says it sounds like a bad bout of Tom Jones syndrome.
    Man asks if it very common
    Doctor say well.... Its Not Unusual.
     
  2. 99'busa

    99'busa Donating Member Registered

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    since this is a BAD joke thread does that mean this is the opropriate responce [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  3. twotonevert

    twotonevert Member of P.E.A. Moderator Donating Member Registered

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    I got some that would make a mechanic puke. Not appropriate for the board.
     
  4. TA_GunSurgeon

    TA_GunSurgeon Donating Member Registered

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    Man walks into a bar sits down looks at the bar tender and says "Give me 12 shots of your strongest whiskey" bartender says "OK" lines up 12 shots in a row and watches the guy take them one after another.
    Bartender looks at the man and says "What are you celebrating?"
    Man looks up and says "My first blow job"
    Bartender says " Well thats great let me get you another shot on the house"  
    Man turns and says "If the first 12 can't get the taste out my mouth another 1 won't help"
     
  5. 99'busa

    99'busa Donating Member Registered

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    Q. Why doesn't Lennox Lewis have a playstation?
    A. Cos he is an x-boxer

    Q. What is ET short for?
    A. Cos he has small legs
     
  6. 99'busa

    99'busa Donating Member Registered

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    [​IMG]
     
  7. 99'busa

    99'busa Donating Member Registered

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    'What do you call a fish with no eyes?'

    Fsh.
     
  8. 99'busa

    99'busa Donating Member Registered

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    [​IMG]
    There is a guy sitting at a bar and is drinking shots.
    He says to the bar tender "Give me two double shots of scotch."
    The bar tender gives the two shots. The guy then does one shot and then pours the other one on his hand. He then again says to the bar tender, "Give me two double shots of scotch."
    The bartender did not see him pour them on his hand before, so he gave him two more.
    Then the guy did it again. He did one shot and then poured the other one on his hand.
    He then asks the bartender again for two more shots, but this time the bartender saw him do it, and didn't think anything of it until he saw him do it again.
    So the guy asks for two more shots and the bartender had to ask him what and why he was doing it.
    He says "I am giving you these shots and you keep pouring one on your hand, why are you doing it?"
    The guy says. "I'm getting my date drunk."
    [​IMG]
     
  9. Prezzo

    Prezzo Registered

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    Gay cowboy rode into town and shot up the sheriff.
     
  10. GMbusa

    GMbusa Even a caveman can do it. Donating Member Registered

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  11. BusaWhipped

    BusaWhipped Donating Member Registered

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    What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?













    Dead ant ... dead ant ... dead ant,dead ant,dend ant
     
  12. big ed

    big ed Donating Member Registered

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    what did the dog say when he walked across sand paper?.......ruff!
     
  13. BUSA_CHeMiST

    BUSA_CHeMiST Donating Member Registered

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    A nucleus walks into the bar...

    Bartender: "Why you look so sad??"
    Nucleus: "I lost my electron"
    Bartender: "Are you sure?"
    Nucleus: "I'm positive!"


    [​IMG]
     
  14. pbghost

    pbghost Registered

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    a blonde riding in the bed of a pickup drowned when the truck ran into a lake...
    she couldn't get the tailgate to open.
     
  15. pbghost

    pbghost Registered

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    look down your shirt and spell attic out loud [​IMG]
     
  16. pbghost

    pbghost Registered

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    the difference between a rich man, a poor man and a dead man?

    a rich man has a canopy over his bed








    a poor man has a can o pee under his bed,








    and a dead man canna pee at all [​IMG]
     
  17. GSXcite

    GSXcite Squirrel Master Donating Member Registered

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    Sorry, don't know any jokes. [​IMG]
     
  18. Mr Bogus

    Mr Bogus Trouble Makers Inc. Donating Member Registered

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    <span style='color:lime'>"Parsley"</span>
    <span style='color:green'>"Parsley"</span>
     
  19. GMbusa

    GMbusa Even a caveman can do it. Donating Member Registered

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    What has 2 knees and can swim?


    A twokneefish.
     
  20. Big Red

    Big Red Donating Member Registered

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    A Chineese couple with the last name of Wong have a baby but the only problem is it is a Cacasian. Perplexed, the couple go to the doctor and ask him why this happened. The doctor looks at the couple and then the baby and he said two Wongs don't make a white!
     

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