Little Johnny Joke of the Year

[skydivr]

Edited for language....
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BEST "LITTLE JOHNNY"
JOKE THIS YEAR




The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan , who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

'Very good!' Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'

Again, no response except from Little Akio: 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'.

'Excellent!', said the teacher continuing, 'let's try one a bit more difficult...'

Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?'

Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: 'John F. Kennedy, 1961'.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, Little Akio isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F_ _ k the Japs,'.

'Who said that? I want to know right now!' she angrily demanded.

Little Akio put his hand up, 'General MacArthur, 1945.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks, 'All right!!! Now who said that!?'

Again, Little Akio says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Little Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, 'You little s**t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Little Akio frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004.'

The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh s**t, We're screwed!'

Little Akio said quietly, 'The American people, November 4, 2008.'

 

[Tufbusa]

May be more truthful than funny and it's pretty damn funny!

 

[RussellJ]

That is AWESOME

 

[zukracer]

classic

 

[warp10]

Good one

 

[Rainbow7]

Little Akio said quietly, 'The American people, November 4, 2008.'[/B]

Only the intelligent ones who work for a living. Those on welfare/in government jobs/taxpayer subsidised industries/the incredibly stupid were too busy ushering in this new era of Hope & Change. What the idiots don't understand is that socialism doesn't make everyone equally wealthy; it makes everyone equally poor.

 

[frisbee]

LMAO

 

[Big Bo]

How Little Johnny Sold Toothbrushes.

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath ... Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling" ? Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog crap!"

Then I would say, "It is dog crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush?

 

[Big Bo]

Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.

Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnnie,"'cause he'd be screwed if he needed glasses"

 

[Big Bo]

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
* * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
* * * * * * * * * * *
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
* * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
* * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

 

[Sum Beach]

That some funny **** right there I tell ya!!!!!

 

[motochris]

Hilarious!

 

[09GraySilverBusa]

Love it!