Probably a repost. You'll laugh again, though.
--Wag--
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element
yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv),
has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons,
and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however,
it can be detected, because it impedes every action with
which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second to occur, to take
from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has
a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase
over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons
to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic
of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical
morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy
as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice
as many morons.
("Isodopes!")
--Wag--
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element
yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv),
has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons,
and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however,
it can be detected, because it impedes every action with
which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second to occur, to take
from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has
a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase
over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons
to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic
of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical
morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy
as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice
as many morons.
("Isodopes!")
