Ethel

darth frosty

Registered
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold Popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of Insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and holding his "You-Know-What" in his hand. "Oh, good grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!"
 
Estate Planning 101
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and
working in the family business. When he found out he was
going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he
decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.


One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took
his breath away. 'I may look like just an ordinary
man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few years, my
father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million
dollars.'

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three
days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
 
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