This is not a forward, it is not made up. This happened to me (Ron) yesterday (8-19-2008).
I thought it was kind of funny afterwards and wanted to put it in writing, figured I would share my experience with my friends.
So here it is..
Hoookaaay..
So, I am going to the mall to get some “stuffâ€. As I am driving through the parking lot I begin to turn left in front of a lady in an SUV sitting at a stop sign.
As I am turning she waves, I think to myself “yep, still got it†so I wave back, as I begin to drive past her she leans out her window and begins to flail her arms. (I think to myself “I know I still got it but dayumâ€) so I stop and roll down my window.
She looks at me and says “My car just stopped and I can’t get it started can you help meâ€
I look the situation over, I see two children in the car and being the hero I am I say “sure, let me park my man truck†(ok I didn’t say “man†truck I just said truck but I AM driving my “WORKING†Dodge Ram Hemi).
Hoookaaay.. so I park my truck and I walk up to her and she tells me “I was driving and then it just stopped and I cant get it startedâ€
So I asked if I could sit in the driver seat and see if I can get it started (normally I just touch stuff and whatever it is starts working and the problems magically go away, so I am confidant I will spend 30 seconds, get the car started be a hero for the day and be on my way).
So I sit down and crank the engine over.. just keeps cranking.. got nuthin.
So I put my left foot on the brake and my right foot on the gas and pump it a few times while I crank the engine (at this point I am starting to flounder, when something doesn’t start working right when I touch it I panic like a cat thrown in a pool)
Still got nuthin..
So I am looking around and I figure what the heck, I will look at the gas gauge… Gas gauge needle is below empty.. so I am thinking to myself “ya gotta be kidding meâ€
So I look at the lady and I said.. “ uhh looks like your gas gauge shows you are on emptyâ€
She promptly responds “oh the gauge is broke†so I think to myself “oh, ok well I have driven cars with broken gas gauges, I normally make sure I fill up often must be something else wrongâ€
As I am thinking this to myself she continues by proudly saying “it has been broken for awhile, my husband and I just fill it up and watch how many miles we driveâ€
As I am grasping all possibilities in this particular situation a thought pops into my head and I hear my self ask “sooooo by your calculations how many miles do you “think†you have leftâ€
She hesitantly responds “wellll we should have about 15 miles leftâ€
so as I ponder this taking into consideration this vehicle is an SUV, 20 gallon fuel tank, fuel mileage increase and decrease based upon speed, altitude, elevations, highway or city driving, the current mood of the sheik in Saudi Arabia and if it is a full moon or not I come to a conclusion based upon my critical analysis of the current situation and I offer to her what her problem is.
I look at her and I say “you are out of gasâ€
She looks at me and says “yeah, you are probably rightâ€
So I look away and roll my eyes. I get out of the car and I look for the nearest parking stall, it is about 50 feet away, no worries even though it is hot, I am wearing slick sneakers with no traction I can do this.
So I tell her “ok, get in, put it in neutral and I will push you into the stall over there†She says “okâ€
So here I am, mid afternoon almost 100 degrees outside in my sneakers pushing a SUV with a woman and two children inside through a parking lot by myself.
I start to push and my feet begin to slip, ok I dig in deeper, ok there it goes now it is starting to roll.. So I am pushing and all of a sudden I feel the SUV kind of stop a little, then it goes, a few more feet and it stops a little, then it goes, and this cycle continues to repeat itself
So here I am, mid afternoon almost 100 degrees outside in my sneakers pushing a SUV with a woman and two children inside through a parking lot by myself and the lady is RIDING HER BRAKES!!!!!
Hoookaaay… so even though she is riding her brakes I finally get her going pretty good and get her pushed towards the parking space.. as she is coming up on the parking space the SUV comes to a grinding halt.. and I mean GRINDING. She slams the SUV into park and I hear the transmission gears just crunching. I take a quick look underneath to make sure the transmission didn’t fall out the bottom of the SUV..
Nope still there, it is moaning in pain but still there..
So I look at her in disbelief, she looks at me and she can tell by the expression on my face I am wondering WHY she just tried to destroy her transmission.
So she says “well the brakes were not working too well for some reason and I had to get it to stopâ€
I told her “well they are power brakes, unless the car is running they will be harder to push but if you push hard enough you can still stop itâ€
She looks at me and says “oh yeahâ€
At this point I am being thankful the brakes were not working any better for her or it would have taken me 2 hours to push an SUV 50 feet with the brakes fully engaged.
So I look at her and ask “soooo are you good? You have someone you can call or do you need a ride to the gas station?†(at this point I am hoping she lets me off the hook and tells me she can call someoneâ€
And she responds “yes, I can call my husband, thank youâ€
I turn away and walk back to my truck and think “that was so messed up it was funnyâ€
So I said a little thank you to God for bringing some humor into my day. I could then envision him sitting on his throne chuckling at me.
Life is good. But God is awesome
Ron
I thought it was kind of funny afterwards and wanted to put it in writing, figured I would share my experience with my friends.
So here it is..
Hoookaaay..
So, I am going to the mall to get some “stuffâ€. As I am driving through the parking lot I begin to turn left in front of a lady in an SUV sitting at a stop sign.
As I am turning she waves, I think to myself “yep, still got it†so I wave back, as I begin to drive past her she leans out her window and begins to flail her arms. (I think to myself “I know I still got it but dayumâ€) so I stop and roll down my window.
She looks at me and says “My car just stopped and I can’t get it started can you help meâ€
I look the situation over, I see two children in the car and being the hero I am I say “sure, let me park my man truck†(ok I didn’t say “man†truck I just said truck but I AM driving my “WORKING†Dodge Ram Hemi).
Hoookaaay.. so I park my truck and I walk up to her and she tells me “I was driving and then it just stopped and I cant get it startedâ€
So I asked if I could sit in the driver seat and see if I can get it started (normally I just touch stuff and whatever it is starts working and the problems magically go away, so I am confidant I will spend 30 seconds, get the car started be a hero for the day and be on my way).
So I sit down and crank the engine over.. just keeps cranking.. got nuthin.
So I put my left foot on the brake and my right foot on the gas and pump it a few times while I crank the engine (at this point I am starting to flounder, when something doesn’t start working right when I touch it I panic like a cat thrown in a pool)
Still got nuthin..
So I am looking around and I figure what the heck, I will look at the gas gauge… Gas gauge needle is below empty.. so I am thinking to myself “ya gotta be kidding meâ€
So I look at the lady and I said.. “ uhh looks like your gas gauge shows you are on emptyâ€
She promptly responds “oh the gauge is broke†so I think to myself “oh, ok well I have driven cars with broken gas gauges, I normally make sure I fill up often must be something else wrongâ€
As I am thinking this to myself she continues by proudly saying “it has been broken for awhile, my husband and I just fill it up and watch how many miles we driveâ€
As I am grasping all possibilities in this particular situation a thought pops into my head and I hear my self ask “sooooo by your calculations how many miles do you “think†you have leftâ€
She hesitantly responds “wellll we should have about 15 miles leftâ€
so as I ponder this taking into consideration this vehicle is an SUV, 20 gallon fuel tank, fuel mileage increase and decrease based upon speed, altitude, elevations, highway or city driving, the current mood of the sheik in Saudi Arabia and if it is a full moon or not I come to a conclusion based upon my critical analysis of the current situation and I offer to her what her problem is.
I look at her and I say “you are out of gasâ€
She looks at me and says “yeah, you are probably rightâ€
So I look away and roll my eyes. I get out of the car and I look for the nearest parking stall, it is about 50 feet away, no worries even though it is hot, I am wearing slick sneakers with no traction I can do this.
So I tell her “ok, get in, put it in neutral and I will push you into the stall over there†She says “okâ€
So here I am, mid afternoon almost 100 degrees outside in my sneakers pushing a SUV with a woman and two children inside through a parking lot by myself.
I start to push and my feet begin to slip, ok I dig in deeper, ok there it goes now it is starting to roll.. So I am pushing and all of a sudden I feel the SUV kind of stop a little, then it goes, a few more feet and it stops a little, then it goes, and this cycle continues to repeat itself
So here I am, mid afternoon almost 100 degrees outside in my sneakers pushing a SUV with a woman and two children inside through a parking lot by myself and the lady is RIDING HER BRAKES!!!!!
Hoookaaay… so even though she is riding her brakes I finally get her going pretty good and get her pushed towards the parking space.. as she is coming up on the parking space the SUV comes to a grinding halt.. and I mean GRINDING. She slams the SUV into park and I hear the transmission gears just crunching. I take a quick look underneath to make sure the transmission didn’t fall out the bottom of the SUV..
Nope still there, it is moaning in pain but still there..
So I look at her in disbelief, she looks at me and she can tell by the expression on my face I am wondering WHY she just tried to destroy her transmission.
So she says “well the brakes were not working too well for some reason and I had to get it to stopâ€
I told her “well they are power brakes, unless the car is running they will be harder to push but if you push hard enough you can still stop itâ€
She looks at me and says “oh yeahâ€
At this point I am being thankful the brakes were not working any better for her or it would have taken me 2 hours to push an SUV 50 feet with the brakes fully engaged.
So I look at her and ask “soooo are you good? You have someone you can call or do you need a ride to the gas station?†(at this point I am hoping she lets me off the hook and tells me she can call someoneâ€
And she responds “yes, I can call my husband, thank youâ€
I turn away and walk back to my truck and think “that was so messed up it was funnyâ€
So I said a little thank you to God for bringing some humor into my day. I could then envision him sitting on his throne chuckling at me.
Life is good. But God is awesome
Ron
::9
