Men Are Just Happier People. What do you expect from such simple
creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding
plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be
President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a
water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you
the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another
gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to
stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character. A wedding dress is $5,000 but a Tux rents for
$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The
occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't
cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about
tanks. A five-day v acation requires only one suitcase. You can open all
your own jars You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be
your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more
than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are
unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its
original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades! You
only have to shave your fac e and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big
hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons. You can
wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a
pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Dec. 24th in minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding
plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be
President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a
water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you
the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another
gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to
stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character. A wedding dress is $5,000 but a Tux rents for
$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The
occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't
cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about
tanks. A five-day v acation requires only one suitcase. You can open all
your own jars You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be
your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more
than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are
unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its
original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades! You
only have to shave your fac e and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big
hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons. You can
wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a
pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Dec. 24th in minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
