Joke

twotonevert

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A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. 
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and boughta bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feedstore andpicked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home. 
While he was scratching his head he was approached by alittle old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tellme how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?" The farmer said, "Well,as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand; put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand? 
"Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time." 
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said,"I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"
The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, and a  gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?" 
The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."
 
A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales. 

So he put up a sign that read, "FreeSex with Fill-Up."

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to10. If he guessed
correctly he would get his free sex.

The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close.
The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time."

A week later, the same redneck, along with his buddy Bubba, pulled in for another
fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct
number.

The redneckguessed 2 this time.

The proprietor said,"Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think
that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."

Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice lastweek."
 
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