Need Some Advice

racrguy

Registered
I need some advice on how to get my ex off my mind. About a month ago she broke up with me for at the time unknown reasons, I now know what those reasons are. I've told her how I felt and she won't take me back, she says "It's gonna take time." All I can think about is her, when I get up in the mornings, when I go to bed at night, absolutely every waking second of the day. I started playing my bass again, that worked for about a week and a half and that is starting not to work. I'm gonna lose my mind if I don't get her off of it. I once aspired to become a quasi-pro (enough to earn a living) race driver, I don't even care about cars anymore, this SUCKS, I have to do something. TIA  
sad.gif
 
Spend time with your friends, real friends. A good support network always helps.
 
keep yer chin up....and quit sniveling about how things were. Not tryin to slam ya, just letting ya know that I've been there, done that. I got nothing outta wallowing in my misery and self-pity.

Take time to feel the pain...it's still relatively new, so that shouldn't be a prob. But also be sure to turn around and use that pain to further motivate you. You only become stronger if you chose to be....and you become weaker by doing the same.

IMHO, I'd rather opt for the stronger part.
 
oh yeah....and if she says "I need more time"...I woudl pretty much write off the relationship. Been there too many times for me to expect something good to come outta that. 10 times outta 10, theat line pretty much meant that it was over.

Looking back, it was foolish of me to still carry hope. I do my best never to make that mistake again.
 
not 2 get into it but here is a little story... or a long 1.. which ever it turns into. me and my ex dated for 5 years (started dating sr year of HS) and were engaged for a year.  then 1 day (actually was the day i got lasik done, so i couldnt even c her) she says we need 2 "take time apart" and she "needs 2 b independant"  
rock.gif
  ofcourse i was devistated... specially since i didnt even see it coming.  i tried EVERYTHING 2 make it happen again, but it wasnt going 2 happen.  hell, she would even tell me when she went on dates with other guys *not even 2 months after we broke up*  for about 6-8 months i couldnt get her out of my mind.  i always kept thinking there was a chance still.  and *now* i know that everything i did jus tpushed her away even more.  later on, once i realized this and i moved on, we would talk here and there, but im talking once every 4-6 weeks and the conversation didnt last long... prob 6-8 months after we broke up.. i started getting over her.  fast-forward 2 years....  i was in a great relationship, the chick was really good 2 me, i could felt i could actually say the "L" word again... all that.  well.. the ex comes knocking.  this is where i got stupid.  basically, she wants 2 try things again.  i "thought" i made make 110% sure she was serious about it and wasnt just trying 2 keep me around as a friend (the last good year i think i talked 2 her 2 times.. her b-day.. and x-mas).   so yea. i broke off that WONDERFUL relationship and got back with the ex.  
mad.gif
  things were kinda rocky for a month, but doing ok.  we went out for about 3 months then she started acting weird again.  saying she was somewhere, but wasnt really there *caught her twice at this* then lieing alot, not returing phone calls, ect...ect..ect..  so im like.. ok, phuq this its over.  i called her up and wanted to know 1st wtf was going on.. long story short, she said she still needed 2 b independant  
rock.gif
  dont worry.. im getting 2 my point..
biggrin.gif
  so i told her that she did know i got out of a perfect relationship with someone who i could actually feel "in love with" for her and now she stabs me in the back again.  so thats my love story at the age of 23   haha.    my point to all this.  women are retarded.  
laugh.gif
 

but seriously, u need 2 suround urself with ur GOOD friends.  me personally, i HATED going out.. kept thinking "what if i see her here".  but doesnt mean i was a hermit.  actually.. i did a little..  dont even wanna know how much OT i worked.  
wink.gif
 but whatever you do, and from the sounds of it... dont get back with her.  shes an ex.. and an ex for a reason.  i always go by the rule of, it takes 1 week for every month u went out 2 get over a relationship.  *so yea...  60 months = 60 weeks = a good year, which in all honest.. it took me 2 b 100% over her.   if u can/have no problem.. go out 2 a few clubs with ur friends.. dont go 2 chace same ass, just go 2 have fun.. if u find some tail.. just a plus (cant count how many chicks i got at a club becuase of my R6 alone).  but dont beat urself up about it.  just think of that relationship as a "review" and think of what u liked/will look for and what u learned out of it.  

im now actually helping ym good friend whos fiance just broke it off with him... for another chick
wow.gif
 ..sadly.. she took him to the cleaners... AND still lives with him...  he's going  2 need alot of work.



<!--EDIT|AZIROC
Reason for Edit: "damn.. i wrote a lot. stupid 3rd shift!"|1112870206 -->

rock.gif
 
Occupy your time more effectively. The bass was a good idea to begin with. Now that it is wearing off, try something different. If you are into fitness, try going to the gym and really working it. Start out slowly but challenge yourself and the exhaustion you will feel afterwards will have consumed the energy you used to think about her. Before you know it you'll realize you haven't thought about her for sometime. Also your physique will improve, inevitably resulting in more attention from the ladies. Enjoy the thought that once your are being noticed more by other chics she will notice too and want the improved you back. Thats when you tell her "no thanks" and comment about how much a good time you are having as a freewheeling bachelor. That'll really irk her.
 
go turbo on your busa.... you won't have any thoughts about girls for a while.
biggrin.gif
 
You definitely need some time with great friends, go do something fun...

Only time will get her off of your mind...someone will walk back in to your life and you'll be able to move on, but just give yourself time...
sad.gif


Not to pry, but did she break up because of something you did? No need to give details, but did she blame you?
 
Most of us have been there at least once in our lives, the best advice I can give is that you have to want to be over her. Once you come to this point, the next step is easy. If you don't want to take her back, ever, and you are 100% sure of this, go sleep with whatever female is closest to her. Mom, sister, friend whatever. Make sure of two things:1) You do a good job, 2) She finds out about it. Please note, you are NOT to start dating this woman, just sleep with her. Once she finds out about it, she won't ever be coming back, you are free to move on with your life. In my experience, it's the whole "she'll be back/she won't be back" conflict that makes you so miserable in the first place. Some may say that this mean, but it does work,guaranteed, or your money back!!



<!--EDIT|Mr Brown
Reason for Edit: None given...|1112890374 -->
 
Most of us have been there at least once in our lives, the best advice I can give is that you have to want to be over her. Once you come to this point, the next step is easy. If you don't want to take her back, ever, and you are 100% sure of this, go sleep with whatever female is closest to her. Mom, sister, friend whatever. Make sure of two things:1) You do a good job, 2) She finds out about it. Please note, you are NOT to start dating this woman, just sleep with her. Once she finds out about it, she won't ever be coming back, you are free to move on with your life. In my experience, it's the whole "she'll be back/she won't be back" conflict that makes you so miserable in the first place. Some may say that this mean, but it does work,guaranteed, or your money back!!
wow.gif
followed by
laugh.gif


A money back guarantee! Wow, that's hard to beat...
tounge.gif
 
Hell dude, jump on a plane and come over here,I'll hook you up!!!! You can stay at my place, I'll make sure you forget about her, trust me on this. Theres nothing like having two..........:D
smile.gif
 
As the saying goes....been there, done that!!! Except I was with this one since high school. We were together for 15yrs...married for 10 of those.
She left me for HER COUSIN'S HUSBAND!! She got everything but the bills.
It was hard for the first year or so, but things change and people change.
Now I am with a great woman, and I still get my daughter pretty much ANY time I want!!!
It all turned out good for the most part,,,now I have my bikes, and my daughter and I get to go racing!!!!!
 
Aziroc did you read my mind or has that happened to every guy in the world atleast once. Same exact thing excpet put a child in the picture. I decided after that every time we broke up I dated one of her friends (if you want to call what we did dating) boy did that make her mad. she would want me back right away. To make a long story short I now have full custody of my baby (well she is 10 so she is like I am not a baby) her mother and I are I think friends is alittle strong but we get along and her new BF and I get along great we ride 4 wheelers and snowmobile together. So I know you are down now man but things will work out. Its about Karma and getting out what you give in. My father always told me if it was meant to be and you tried your best it will be
 
Do things that YOU want to really do. You'll someone else will find you when the time and place are right. Just keep your eyes and ears open, and enjoy what you have!

beerchug.gif
 
Race24x,

Congrats on keeping your daughter!!! I wish I had mine ALL OF THE TIME!!, but I dont. I do get to see her pretty much when I (and my daughter) want to. She is 11 and "ALL GIRL"!!!
 
Find yerself a rally complex project. Sumptin you have always wanted to do but for some reason (maybe her) you couldn't. Whe she comes to mind (constantly) force yourself to work on your complex project.

Sounds easy, it isn't, but it worked for me.
 
Aziroc did you read my mind or has that happened to every guy in the world atleast once. Same exact thing excpet put a child in the picture. I decided after that every time we broke up I dated one of her friends (if you want to call what we did dating) boy did that make her mad. she would want me back right away. To make a long story short I now have full custody of my baby (well she is 10 so she is like I am not a baby) her mother and I are I think friends is alittle strong but we get along and her new BF and I get along great we ride 4 wheelers and snowmobile together. So I know you are down now man but things will work out. Its about Karma and getting out what you give in. My father always told me if it was meant to be and you tried your best it will be
yea.. i figured this inccodent was my "this has happened to everyone" moment. but yea.. after i was mostly over her.. and "dating" other chicks, i got over her SO much quicker. and i am 1 who beleives in Karma.. and imo, it has paid back. she is so ... "lost" in life now.. doesnt know what she wants.. or anything for that matter, and i know exactly were im going in life and its looking good. right now the only "trouble" im having is this 1 chick im liking si also the ex's room mate. oh well though.
 
Definitely try and spend as much time as possible with your friends. I've also been there and the whole "It's gonna take time..." speech is the worse to hear. In the back of your mind you always know no amount of time is ever gonna help. The way I always saw it, what do you need time to realize? If you need time to realize if you want to be with me, then is it really worth it? Oh well, hope everything works out. Think of it this way, more time to spend on the Busa without having to answer any questions.
smile.gif
 
guess ill throw my sob story in here too.ill try to keep it short.was married two years wife left begged her not too forced me into bankruptcy.got divorced moved in with me for like a month or two same crap left again.started dating she got jealous wants me back still too bad got remarried be two years in may happy now best favor she ever did me was divorce me!!!!!as far as advice goes heres my .02.....take a trip go to gym get a tan get laid youll find someone then keep separate checking accounts and split the bills!!!!!!!she has her money you have yours,neither of you tell the other what to do with their spare money all is good and harmonious.
 
Back
Top