I have failed as a parent. Just found out

[Lurch]

Just got a call from my Ex-wife. My 16yo daughter has a court date tomorrow morning for being involved in a bomb threat at her Highschool last week.

Now I have tried to be involved in my daughters life. She lives 45 minutes away but I try to be involved.

Here is the story as I have been told it.

Last week my daughter, her 14yo female friend and said friends boyfriend (who I just found out is a 24yo man) Were sitting around during a break from class and were discussing calling a bomb threat to the school the next day. My daughter said she was not involved in the conversation but did hear it. She failed to notify the school or anyone about the conversation she heard.

Now the man who called it in is accusing my daughter of giving him the idea, telling him what to say and giving him the money for the phone call. She is denying that part.

I am so beside myself right now. I am seeing blood red and very pissed off with my daughter and her mother.

I will be at court tomorrow to hear the details as the authorities have them. I may be asking the courts to send my daughter to jail if I find she was involved at all or even if they can for not notifying the proper people about the threat.

Please forgive me for saying all of the comments I have ever said about bad parenting. I know see it is not always totally on the parent. I have tried to raise my daughter right. It is very hard as a parent without custody.

 

[Gitonit!]

I see no shame on you Lurch, just be cool, get the details, and do all you can to help her get out of it.
Something like this is recoverable. Stuff happens.
I have an Aunt who helped me out of trouble a couple of times when I was a teen.

 

[Lurch]

I see no shame on you Lurch, just be cool, get the details, and do all you can to help her get out of it.
Something like this is recoverable. Stuff happens.
I have an Aunt who helped me out of trouble a couple of times when I was a teen.

Thank you for the response. I just feel like such a hypocrite right now and that is not what I am all about.

 

[nabusa]

It is very hard to raise a child when you don't have custody. The parent they live with will override anything the other parent trys to teach. If you are not there, there isn't much you can do if they decide to do something wrong.

 

[Gitonit!]

Its difficult not to feel like a hypocrite at some time or another...if ya got a conscious. IME

 

[BusaBret]

Sir,

You can only do your best to raise them and show them the right path in life. It is up to them to follow it or go their own way. Be there for her, support her but let her pay the dues involved. It may very well straighten her out and save more dire consequences later. Best of luck to you both!!

 

[Bosshound]

Sometime No Matter what you do.............Your kids can end up in the wrong crowd and **** happens. Stop Kicking yourself in the Arse for this one. Hopefully she will learn by her mistakes and move on. WE ALL make them Especially when we are young and impressionable. If you are a Good Role Model for her and I think you are..............She will eventually follow in your footsteps.........lease:

Robert

 

[Trash_Panda_44]

Hang in there man- find out the details tomorrow and go from there. Things aren't always what they seem...

 

[880jedi]

Not bad parenting at all. You just need to get all the facts. Teenagers are very influenced by others.

 

[Gregor6]

How does she get a court date so soon? ???

.....as long as her friend hasn't been seeing her pedophile boyfriend for more than a year without your knowledge, you're alright.

 

[Lurch]

How does she get a court date so soon? ???

.....as long as her friend hasn't been seeing her pedophile boyfriend for more than a year without your knowledge, you're alright.

Preliminary hearing. I guess they want her to testify against the guy. He as admitted guilt to this
Oh and it is his second such threat

 

[Ludicrous Speed]

Not your fault....

But I would like to know what kind of parents let their kid date someone that is ten years older than their daughter, who is a freshman??

 

[Gregor6]

Preliminary hearing. I guess they want her to testify against the guy. He as admitted guilt to this
Oh and it is his second such threat

He sounds like the type of guy that needs washed in gas and dried off with a lit match...

 

[Malicious]

crap like this is why i dont think i ever want to have kids... doesnt matter how good of a parent you are, there are some things that are just beyond your control... wherther it be peer pressure or bad parenting from the other unit.... on a side note... if this boyfriend is 24, shouldnt he know better than to take advise on calling in bomb threats from a 16 year old??? i dunno but if i was judging that one id throw the book at him

 

[Tm@nFL]

Lurch keep your cool and go to court and listen. Not sure what your experience is with the juvenile justice system in your state is, but you are going to get a crash course in it really fast if you have no experience. The judges have a lot of say in what is going to happen with the case and it is their courtroom. Every state is alittle different. It is not your fault. At 14/15 they are making choices for themselves. Sometimes it is just the wrong choices.

Get a lawyer and it is all going to cost money no matter what happens, lawyer or not.

Everyone pleads not guilty. It is like a rule. They almost always give some kind of diversion program or downgrade the charges for first offenders.

I have been through 3 years of hell with my youngest stepson(have 2 other step kids) and the juvenile justice system. He is the only one to have these issues. I went 2-1

This is why I never say the normal internet line "it is bad parenting".

Good luck!

 

[GsxrBots]

What's the big deal about a bomb threat anyway? It's not like she gave herself a Mohawk or anything...




Couldn't resist.

Call me if you need anything brother..

 

[flynlow]

I'd like to believe at least some of us hooked up with some bad people and felt rebellious to parents advice. We knew it all! Then a hit of reality comes and your all ears for parental direction, especially if the law is involved. Nobody wants their kid to start life with a blemish over poor judgement. I wish you the best in getting your girls troubles behind her.

 

[Lurch]

What's the big deal about a bomb threat anyway? It's not like she gave herself a Mohawk or anything...




Couldn't resist.

Call me if you need anything brother..

Yes glad it was not something serious like the Pink hair I gave her or the tattoos I got her or letting her ride the Busa at 14 in the aprtment complex. I will call you tomorrow and let you know how it went. Thanks brother

 

[GNBRETT]

20 years ago calling a bomb threat to get out of school was a pretty common occurance. unfortunately today the threat of a BOMB is pretty real so its taken a lot more seriously. I would hardly call that bad parenting. if we all got cought for the stupid things we did as kids some of us would be convicted felonsl sad but true.

 

[Poppy]

I'm sure you know that although most kids know right from wrong and they have good parenting, they do grow up and become their own person. Hopefully this works out ok.