man rules

kitchener rider

I was cheap, so all I got was a lousy t-shirt
Registered
The International Council of Man Laws.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and
eaten by his friends.

4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits
forever unless you actually marry her.

5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden.
However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At
that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.

8: When stumbling upon other guy watching a sporting event, you may ask the
score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to
climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent
entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your
girlfriend.

10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and
only when it's free.

11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to
kick another guy in the nuts.

12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

13: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

15: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as
much as the other sports watchers.

16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain
sober enough to fight.

17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,
but not both, that's just greedy.

21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than
you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend'
have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the
discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her
to drive yours.

24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, limegreen, orange
or sky blue..

25: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?'
with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox360. End of
story.

26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics.
Ever.

27: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really
know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
definition of each is listed below:

'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say,'are you
still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'

'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your Wife squarely on
the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'

I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Man Laws.
 
The International Council of Man Laws.

9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to
climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent
entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your
girlfriend.

12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

27: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really
know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
definition of each is listed below:

'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say,'are you
still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'

'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your Wife squarely on
the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'

I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Man Laws.

:rofl: That is some funny stuff! :rofl:
 
The International Council of Man Laws.

27: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really
know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
definition of each is listed below:

'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say,'are you
still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'

'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your Wife squarely on
the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'

I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Man Laws.

:rofl::rofl::rofl: good stuff man
 
25: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?'
with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox360. End of
story.

I just want to know, who ELSE has had EXACTLY this happen to them besides me? :rofl::rofl:

My response was, "how the hell am I supposed to know, when you can't even make up your OWN mind?"
 
9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to
climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent
entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your
girlfriend.

Thanks, I just spewed dinner all over the keyboard..i'm so pizzed...
 
Sorry. Rule 24 is totally invalid. Needs to be rewritten to list only pink. Evidence:

Brown:
1974JensenInterceptor_01_700.jpg


Lime Green:
3392533589_d54d8aeed3.jpg


Orange:


Sky Blue:
bagheera_1092148624_ford_gt40_mki_gulf_1968.jpg
 
Also, "Hugger Orange" was a popular early-70's color for GM. The Camaro RS and SS, the Chevelle SS, and the Corvette could all be ordered in that color. Also, why not brown? I used to own a very tasteful root-beer brown 1970 Grand Prix. Lime-green was obviously added to that list by someone who knows nothing about MoPar. Granted that sky blue is a bit harder, but Gulf still sponsors cars, and their traditional colors are always sky/baby powder blue and orange. I'm pretty sure the GT40 could be ordered in that color from the factory.
 
Oh, and regarding the rule about skating and gymnastics. I must disagree with the rule as written. While there really is almost no reason to watch Men's gymnastics (unless a close relative or good friend is competing), technically Hockey could be considered "ice skating", and there are all kinds of reasons to watch womens' skating, but they have nothing to do with the competition.
 
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