At 3:00pm this past friday ***NOT KID SAFE***

[JINKSTER]

afternoon?...i took my last 1/2 oxy pain killer...got over the 48 hour withdrawal hump this weekend...also attended an NA Meeting a day for the past week...except yesterday and today which was D-Day for my so called "Weening Process"(knew i was gonna be very sick and weak for at least 2 days so i scheduled my final kick for an entire weekend so i could make work monday am)...gotta tell you folks...this shid is "SEDUCTIVE".....can take a 50+ year old man and make'im feel like he was 20 again...all day long...for about $15 a day...then?...$30...then?...$50...etc. etc. etc.....

The withdrawls are brutal...night 1 wasn't too too bad...friday night...he11...i had just quit friday afternoon...but last night?..saturday night?...Night2?...i spent the night in a shakedown of chills and sweats...felt like every muscle i owned had been filleted from my body and every fiber of my body was being shreaded by firey red hot blades from hell...feet were freezing like frostbite (especially the toes) meanwhile back up top?..my head was on fire and my chest had a puddle of sweat on it...i smoked weed to combat the nausea (RE: Tommy Chongs Advice too Rush Limbaugh ((when he was flunking out of his 2nd rehab))...and to combat stress related heart failure and spent most of saturday night almost rubbing the plating off the cross blanca busa (aka Saiid) got me and begging god to let me live through this.

well?...I guess i lived through it but...wife took the two little ones Rachel 12 and Marissa 17 (and a daughters friend) too Blueridge....on my 52 BD weekend..then my oldest daughter and her boyfriend came by to pick me up to take me to my parents today for my BD dinner...they know what i've been through...they didn't leave me...and this all started over tooth pain and going full dentures (w/ 17 teeth yanked in one sitting) that lead to my addition to pain killers...which run rampant in many areas of my daily life...as i'm certain they do in every small town across our nation by now...which is why i shared this experience with you as it is said...

"A wise man learns from his own mistakes...but a VERY wise man learns from the mistakes of others"

trust me folks...you never wanna feel like this...l8r...bill.

 

[Fastfrog007]

You've made it through the worst Bill, Keep it up, your family needs you.

 

[III]

GOOD LUCK and keep up the fight!!!! I have some close friends that have been fighting this same battle. Keep your good friends close and your family even closer and you'll be fine. STAY STRONG!!!

 

[JINKSTER]

You've made it through the worst Bill, Keep it up, your family needs you.

thanks man...and i"m not gonna lie...i'm looking for words of encouragement here cause the kowledge that a $15 lil blue pill could relieve all this pain and suffering causes me horrific cravings to "USE"...but i ain't buyin it...he11 yeah at 1st it was wonderful..1 $15 pill and i felt great all day long...but 2 months later?...it took 2 pills to just feel decent enough to work...then 3 pills..just to get through the day then lay in a burniong withdrawl all night long sometimes waking you from a sound sleep..too...wether or not i was gonna get to sleep tonight depended on wether or not i had another pill stashed in my tool box...and i say...fug that shid...no way...i aint gonna loose my home and family being a biotch to a lil blue pill...i'd rather die.

so here i am...still alive and well?..still not so well.

l8r, bill.

 

[sixpack577]

Man I've been watchin those, and more so, Loritabs (although less potent) break down several of my friends over the last few years. There is NO shame in gettin hooked and havin a problem. I commend you for admitting it and trying to overcome it. May God bless you, and don't give up!!!

 

[JINKSTER]

GOOD LUCK and keep up the fight!!!! I have some close friends that have been fighting this same battle. Keep your good friends close and your family even closer and you'll be fine. STAY STRONG!!!

Thanks III...appreciate the warm wishes bud...man have i had some biocthin things go down in m life recently...crushing...to the point that it cost me 16+ years clean and sober since 1986 when i finally picked up my 1st drink in daytona 2002...and being the father of three daughters aint the easiest of roads to travel..been bustin azz to raise my family and giv'em a good life (out to dinner every saturday night for "family night")..yet the wifes home brianwashin the 3 daughters that dads a pos?...took me hard to finally realize my own wife had no love for me anymore...big trigger there for a recovering addict...and in 2002 daytona...my 16 years of sobriety finally met its match...and i ordered that 1st drink...double...wild turkey 101 at Sharks Lounge..1st few years i figured what happened in daytona?...stayed in daytona..well?...my addiction took 2-3 years but...it finally followed me home..and?..took my azz down...hard.

l8r, bill.

 

[skydivr]

It will pass, you have to believe that.

Now get rid of the Marijuana too, and the alcohol....no good can come from them either.

 

[JINKSTER]

Man I've been watchin those, and more so, Loritabs (although less potent) break down several of my friends over the last few years. There is NO shame in gettin hooked and havin a problem. I commend you for admitting it and trying to overcome it. May God bless you, and don't give up!!!

thanks man..yeah....been a lotta deaths over this shid down my way...got several coworkers been attending funerals lately...and the stories always the same...oxy and zaney bars..='s "dead".

and like i say...extremely "seductive"

l8r, bill.

 

[Bosshound]

You are Not Alone............PM me if you need to talk

 

[Bigdog5]

Keep your head up and keep fighting!! My thoughts and prayers go out to you as you work your way through this.

 

[JINKSTER]

It will pass, you have to believe that.

Now get rid of the Marijuana too, and the alcohol....no good can come from them either.

i agree skydiver...i gotta sponser from NA..a 300+LB brother..a power greater than myself. LOL!..and i ran my gameplan by him...he knows what i'm dealing with and in this case?..i gotta take it 1 demon atta time...step myself down and then?...dump it all..complete abstinence from all drugs and alcohol..biotch is?...been there...done that...16 years straight..theres something else wrong in my life...something i havent wanted to face...and its tuff thinking divorce when ya gotta 12 year old daughter who still needs her daddy...but not a fugged up one..and the pain broke me.

he11...if id hadnt been for the booze and drugs?...i'd of kicked this biotch to the curb and aired out about 8-10 years back...any sane man would've...me?..i just broke and stayed..and to this day?...still cant even fathom waiving goodbye to my 12 year old.

l8r, bill.

 

[cipher5791]

Hey Jinkster hang in there brother. Just call on the Lord and he will see you through the pain. You are halfway there brother and thanks for sharing with us. Keep on fighting. The victory is won and the prize is around the corner........FREEDOM

 

[chrisjp]

keep the faith jinks....you will get there

 

[Vega]

Keep telling yourself that you can do it Jinks, and you will!

You can do it!

 

[Strife]

You know you sure pushing a lot of blame off on the wife. Was she the one who had an addiction? Has the thought that you might of brought her despair towards you yourself? Take a good look at yourself and ask yourself..."Would I want to be with me?"

Not saying your are a bad person,but people act differently because of their addiction(s). Using or not...

Can't really judge who is at fault. Their is two sides to every story and those stories are usually filled with "Half" truth.

On a more positive note. You kicked the "habit" before and you know the "GREAT" joy it brought into your life doing so. Remember that feeling and it will help you overcome this addiction.

GOOD LUCK!

 

[Jay Willie]

"The mind of intelligent men seldom find rest in a life dictated by others."jw

Be here praying for you brother...lease: lease: lease:

 

[skydivr]

Jinx....suck it up and go to AA....save your life, man....lots of things might look different when you start looking thru a different set of goggles....my wife goes to Al Anon (her dad was an alcoholic), it's really helped her (and by default, me)....

 

[BigBSBusa]

Sounds like you have motivation from the 12 year old to make it through this. Stay strong, Bill!

 

[Fastfrog007]

Ping Bill, How are ya bro?

 

[Strife]

Hang in their! You already knew it's gonna be a tough road,but you already know it gets easier as time goes bye!