Am I being Selfish?

I Love My Wife

Registered
My wife asked me the other day "when do you want to start having kids?". We're coming up on our 5 yr anniversary (been together for 12 yrs) and I'm not ready to give up "the 2 of us". We're still young (in my mind at least) at almost 30 and almost 31.
I don't know, I really enjoy what we have right now; she's my best friend and we do almost everything together. Most of the people we hang out with are 50 yrs and up (our Bible Study group from church) so they are all kidless empty-nesters.
I'm a first generation Christian and I want my kids to be raised up to be Christians. I am afraid that I would mess that up; that I'm not prepared for teaching kids how to be Christian when I'm still learning myself.

By the way my wife and I have discussed everything I've typed many, many times. We don't keep secrets, not even little stupid ones.
 
I think it's a good idea to get it out of the way early. - It's a lot safer for your wife and child, and also, do you want to be 60 when your kid turns 21?
 
I think it's a good idea to get it out of the way early. - It's a lot safer for your wife and child, and also, do you want to be 60 when your kid turns 21?

I think that's why the intrest by my wife. We have 4 or 5 friends who've had children this year. They range in age from 23-42.
 
Get dogs,,,,,,,,they learn fast, always love you, will never grow up and tell people what jerks you are, and you can leave them in the garage for a day and never get arrested.....
 
Kids change everything.



Just be sure your ready,

+1, christianity is making certain decisions everyday in your life, growing in understanding til you pass away, if your waiting till you have all the answers you will never have kids. At 31 i have a 10 and a 5yr old, completely changes your life, best thing that ever happened, but i always wanted kids.

smart to be concerned, it will greatly affect your 1 on 1 time with wifey. if your truly not ready, you may resent her later when your stuck in the house changing diapers or you may find there is no love like loving a child and none of that other stuff really matters. 0.02
 
My wife asked me the other day "when do you want to start having kids?". We're coming up on our 5 yr anniversary (been together for 12 yrs) and I'm not ready to give up "the 2 of us". We're still young (in my mind at least) at almost 30 and almost 31.
I don't know, I really enjoy what we have right now; she's my best friend and we do almost everything together. Most of the people we hang out with are 50 yrs and up (our Bible Study group from church) so they are all kidless empty-nesters.
I'm a first generation Christian and I want my kids to be raised up to be Christians. I am afraid that I would mess that up; that I'm not prepared for teaching kids how to be Christian when I'm still learning myself.

By the way my wife and I have discussed everything I've typed many, many times. We don't keep secrets, not even little stupid ones.


Enjoy your family. Having children is a fact of life, and you will love having them. I have a son and a daughter, and a stepdaughter (for now).

Don't worry about teaching your children to be Christians... set the example. Take them to Sunday School and church if you believe you're unable to educate them in matters of faith. Been there, done that. It takes hard work.

I'm in the process of getting a divorce at the moment and will be noncustodial parent due to military service and lack of a backup for the children's care if must deploy to war. All I can say is, value where you are and do everything you can to help your children and love your wife. Church and Sunday School are great... lots of great people and great opportunities to give and to receive. Having children should not mean changing who you are, just changing your thought process a bit.

That said, I'd suggest not stacking the odds for more than one child at a time, and wait several years if you have more--so that you don't have two very young children in the home at once.


Mike
 
As a Christian you should realize God put you and her on earth to procreate and continue the human race . I was a loner and a runner till mid 30s . Got married and when the doctor put Adam still warm and fresh out of her womb in my hands it was a high no drug can give you . Nothing in this world makes you feel better than having a halfling call you daddy , nothing .
The old saying is true .
If you wait till you feel your ready it may be too late . At 30 now you will be 50 when they are 20 ! You wanna be able to run around and play baseball with them don't you ?
Also you don't want to be retired and still raising kids or have them in the house . Go ahead and get her to start baking one for you in her oven . The first time y'all go for sonogram and doc let's you hear the heartbeat you will see and realize what lifes all about . Do you not want your last name to continue to walk the earth long after your gone ? Generations , a dynasty , an heir to your throne ?
Get 'er done !
 
If your waiting for the stars to align perfectly before you have kids, you never
will.

Not trying to offend but I've had friends in the past who thought their lives
were just "so" they couldn't be bothered with kids :rofl: You just wont realize
how empty your life was without them, no matter how full you think it is now.
Your life will change (only for the better, IMHO).

Difficult to explain and I'm not doing it well, kinda like trying to describe to someone
what it's like to ride a Busa who has never riden a motorcycle.

Course, a lot of people probably don't feel that way...hence the divorce rate...
people can't get past the "me".

My kids were raised in the church and are truely truely awesome. I could not be
more thankfull or prouder.
 
Get dogs,,,,,,,,they learn fast, always love you, will never grow up and tell people what jerks you are, and you can leave them in the garage for a day and never get arrested.....

:lol: thats hilarious, but at the same time kids are great...i have a three year old nephew adopted from my pot head sister in law and i would give my life for that little boy.....children are great even though me and my wife haven't decided to have one yet..if it's meant to happen it will....pray pray pray, grew up as a preacher's son, so had it fead to me day in and day out....good luck brother and God Bless

DSCN0587.jpg
 
Don't use religion as a crutch.

It sounds like she's got the baby fever.

Kids ruin everything, if you're selfish. Or so Lamb has seen.
 
There is an old saying in skydiving: "Those who do can't explain; those who don't can't understand"...there is no way that us parents on this board can explain the feeling and emotion of being a parent to someone who is not - it's not humanly possible. It certainly changes EVERYTHING - from that moment your child takes your hand, it's no longer about you but about THEM. I don't know if you've ever felt so strongly about someone that you'd die without hesitation for them, but it's THAT intense.

Having said that, it's not YOU that's getting old, but your wife IS going to start having issues about trying to conceive and/or bringing a baby to term before much longer. Having a child is very hard on a woman's body, and the younger one's handle it much better than the older ones. On top of that, you would be much better off having a child earlier in your life (it's emotionally and physically challenging for you both).

I was 40 (my wife was 30) when my daughter was born. I will be 60 when she is 20. If I have grandchildren, they will probably never know me. Don't wait til it's too late there will NEVER be a perfect time, yet when it happens it will be PERFECT ANYWAY :)

Good luck.
 
If your waiting for the stars to align perfectly before you have kids, you never
will.

Not trying to offend but I've had friends in the past who thought their lives
were just "so" they couldn't be bothered with kids :rofl: You just wont realize
how empty your life was without them, no matter how full you think it is now.
Your life will change (only for the better, IMHO).

Difficult to explain and I'm not doing it well, kinda like trying to describe to someone
what it's like to ride a Busa who has never riden a motorcycle.

Course, a lot of people probably don't feel that way...hence the divorce rate...
people can't get past the "me".

My kids were raised in the church and are truely truely awesome. I could not be
more thankfull or prouder.



+1 on this brother.:bowdown:
 
if you dont..then you can never have them ride with you and still have everyone say...wow and you still corner like that with your daughter rideing with you ...as she is slapping you silly telling you to go faster...yes she is my youngest and all of them have the "bug"

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I think the only advice I can give you is to make sure you and your wife have similiar values and thoughts on children and raising them. Children change EVERYTHING but I would say it is the greatest change ever if you really appreciate and understand what kids are about.

For those that haven't seen me on here as much or wonder why I haven't been keeping up with my BUSA projects, we had a little girl last year. As much as I love riding, I can honestly say I've had WAY more fun with my daughter in the last 9-months than I've ever had on my bike(s). She has been a blessing and a blast and I wouldn't change anything in the world...

Plus she's got my wife exploring the world and using a camera... :thumbsup:

Baby
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3-months
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Now
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She's crawling everywhere and already trying to walk!


It really depends on where you are in life and if you are mentally, physically, finan., etc. .....ready! I would have loved to have had children earlier but when I was in the military it just wasn't a good time. We had way to much going on. My wife was still in college and I was deploying (and didn't want to put kids through that). Now we are financially able to have kids and do what we want with them. We are already talking about the second and look forward to maybe more depending on the future.

It's a big decision so make sure you are ready! Even then, once you find out you normally have some time to get ready for them. It's not like UPS drops them off and says here you go. You'll have time to plan and get things setup how you want and ENJOY the planning and home changes. Just think you can have a mini his/her Hayabusa room for your little one... :laugh:

Kids are great, even when the tick you off they still will make you laugh!

Good luck... :beerchug:
 
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