help

[Helplessbusarider]

I am current member, wanted anonymity for the post topic, it's not an easy thing to discuss or ask for guidance or advice, but I am at a loss atm. :down:

I am slowly an surely watching my older brother die in front of my eyes. He has been into drugs for quite some time, started with weed moved on to crack an has always kept up his alcohol consumption as well. He was arrested for crack more than once an went in an out of those rehab programs, forced to by the courts an a few more times he went in on his own. He did ok for a while an then went back on it.


He loved to get drunk, get high an then jump on the bike an ride, an ride it like he stole it. Wrecked a lot of the times he was on it, usually destroyed himself an the bike, fortunately he never hurt anyone else. He picked up a DUI a couple of years back an lost his DL, kept on riding it to get his crack, he was even riding the bike with a flat tire to do it cause the tire was past the threads. After getting picked up a few more times, locked up an the bike impounded he retired the bike an is staying off the street an is unable to get refills.
But it seems that he has just traded his means of self destruction. He drinks himself stupid each an every single day. I am not talking about a guy coming home an having a couple or a few beers, I mean he gets completely hammered an if it's starting to wear off he goes back for more. Today he got hammered an fell while he was walking here in his own room an split his head wide open. Bad thing is I wanted to hit him on the other side of the head that wasn't bleeding.


I am no one to judge an maybe no one to be trying to talk sense to him either, I battled with drugs for while an let them go, got busted my self but after the rehab never went back an never wanted those kind of problems, an I did the same thing went to the alcohol an went through that same thing, drinking an parting an then riding home. Beat that habit as well with out hurting anyone but myself. Thought maybe that s why words from me is useless but none of our friends an family can get through either.

If you hate me or him for what we did in the past an are wishing an thinking we deserve every bad thing that happens to us I can understand, I hated myself an my life back then as well, an I am thinking he is feeling the same way. I would ask for a little mercy since we were lucky enough to hurt anyone an not attack us in the thread.

Has anyone else dealt with this in their family, if you don't want to post up there I can understand an would welcome pm,s

 

[dadofthree]

Good luck with your brother. He needs professional help, and until he wants that help there's not a lot anyone else can do to help him. I will keep both of you in my prayers.

 

[chrisjp]

i saw my father meet an early death at 62 due to his drinking... his body could not fight simple infections due to the consumption...i wish you luck as reaching out and makeing them stop..just dont work

 

[Fastfrog007]

Words and actions from you may be the only thing that can help. I have no experience in this area, but it sounds like you were where he is now. Maybe whatever got you to change can help him. He clearly is not concerned about his own well being at this point( no offense) but maybe the well being of you and your family is still important to him. Maybe the fact that his actions hurt you and the rest of the family can convince him to change. Feel free to PM me if ya just wanna vent or talk, im just a dude, but Im here if needed.

 

[djsin]

sooner or later the drugs and alcohol will stop, either he will make the choice to stop or they will kill him.....i had a cousin who got high(weed) all the time when we where kids....as he got older he started doing coke, he tried to buy from the wrong person back in july of 2000 and was shot dead in his car....get him some help..an intervention or anything, even if he never talks to u again..if he gets help it would be worth it to know he is alive and well, u may even offer to go with him...

 

[Bird Hunter]

I don't think anyone but the person who is having the problem can really make the change to a drug/alcohol free life.. You can try to get them to change, but if they don't want it, it probably won't happen. I would keep talking to him and feeling him out on what he wants in life, and if and when he is ever ready to make a change, just be there and do all you can for him.. Of course this is just purely how I feel on the matter, and is by no means anything other than just my opinion.. I hope the best for you and your brother, and I hope he is able to take a different path one day.. Take care...lease:

 

[Takeuon]

I will lease: for you that this has a positive outcome.

Good luck and thank you for sharing such intimate concerns.

 

[Helplessbusarider]

Thanks for the replies an prayers for those that are giving them, this is something that has been going on for many years. I think me an the family have tried it all, was wondering if we missed something. People sometimes need to hit rock bottom before they figure out they need to turn around an head in the other direction, guess he either hasn't hit it yet, or like some people death is the bottom.

 

[Ezduzit]

Good luck with your brother. He needs professional help, and until he wants that help there's not a lot anyone else can do to help him. I will keep both of you in my prayers.

Well said, he has to take that step as you did, prayers for you and your family!

 

[sixpack577]

Long story short, faith in GOD, never give up, no matter how grim things look or how long it takes. May GOD bless you, your brother, and family

 

[J'Man]

I have a brother that has went through some of the same stuff. We confronted him and got him some professional help. I believe they put him on something called "methadone" (sp?) or something like that. He took that for awhile to break the habit, but it wasn't until he found Jesus that his life truly turned around.

The good news is he can still change and it's not too late. I just knew I was going to get a call that he was dead or figured if the drugs didn't kill him he would never amount to anything. I was completely wrong. When God steps in, anything is possible!

If you want to PM me his name my wife and I will keep you both in our prayers.

 

[BIG GUY]

i went threw the same thing with my brother. It took him doing 2.5 years in prison. While he was in I showed him all the love and support I could. When he finally got out and we talked for the first time I told him I would not be there for him again like I was. He has now been clean and sober for over 2 years. I am proud of him for being able to kick the drug problem. You just need to be there for him and show that you still love and care for him by your actions. For him to get clean he is gonna have to want it for himself. Good luck and my prayers are with you.

 

[SkootRRgirl]

I am current member, wanted anonymity for the post topic, it's not an easy thing to discuss or ask for guidance or advice, but I am at a loss atm. :down:

I am slowly an surely watching my older brother die in front of my eyes. He has been into drugs for quite some time, started with weed moved on to crack an has always kept up his alcohol consumption as well. He was arrested for crack more than once an went in an out of those rehab programs, forced to by the courts an a few more times he went in on his own. He did ok for a while an then went back on it.


He loved to get drunk, get high an then jump on the bike an ride, an ride it like he stole it. Wrecked a lot of the times he was on it, usually destroyed himself an the bike, fortunately he never hurt anyone else. He picked up a DUI a couple of years back an lost his DL, kept on riding it to get his crack, he was even riding the bike with a flat tire to do it cause the tire was past the threads. After getting picked up a few more times, locked up an the bike impounded he retired the bike an is staying off the street an is unable to get refills.
But it seems that he has just traded his means of self destruction. He drinks himself stupid each an every single day. I am not talking about a guy coming home an having a couple or a few beers, I mean he gets completely hammered an if it's starting to wear off he goes back for more. Today he got hammered an fell while he was walking here in his own room an split his head wide open. Bad thing is I wanted to hit him on the other side of the head that wasn't bleeding.


I am no one to judge an maybe no one to be trying to talk sense to him either, I battled with drugs for while an let them go, got busted my self but after the rehab never went back an never wanted those kind of problems, an I did the same thing went to the alcohol an went through that same thing, drinking an parting an then riding home. Beat that habit as well with out hurting anyone but myself. Thought maybe that s why words from me is useless but none of our friends an family can get through either.

If you hate me or him for what we did in the past an are wishing an thinking we deserve every bad thing that happens to us I can understand, I hated myself an my life back then as well, an I am thinking he is feeling the same way. I would ask for a little mercy since we were lucky enough to hurt anyone an not attack us in the thread.

Has anyone else dealt with this in their family, if you don't want to post up there I can understand an would welcome pm,s

Check this out it was very courageous for you to speak up not many people can do that. I will not judge for I am a recovering addict and alcoholic myself been clean and sober 6 years now. From personal experience I can tell you that no matter what anyone tells me or your brother the change will not happen until we are ready. No human power can save your brother only God can and will if He is sought. The only thing any person can do at this point is PRAY FOR HIM. He has to hit bottom and I am not talking about going to jails, rehabs, or even having to kill someone else in the process but he has to hit a spiritual bottom when he feels so empty inside that he can't stand it no more. He will everntually rise up and get help or he will go onto the bitter ends, jails, institutions or death. I know for me I have exhausted the first two the only thing left for me is death, but hell I couldn't get that lucky, if I were to relapse I'd probably stay out in the streets to live a miserable life. Another suggestion maybe for you to go to an alanon meeting. There you will learn how to deal with your brother's behavior as well as work on yourself. Try to take him to a meeting if he is willing but whatever you do don't force the situation, he may rebel and it may ruin a future chance of him getting help. Leave literature around the house as subtle hints, try the AA book. Put it where you think he will see it when he is coming down off a high. Whatever you decide to do don't lose faith he will either get it or he won't whatever the outcome, it is up to God and God alone.Pray and Pray hard, prayer really does changes things heck thats how I got sober, people prayed my butt into recovery. If you ever need to talk I am here, you may pm me or hit me up at rebosanirt@aol.com that is where you will find me most times. I will pray for you and your brother. Just remember you can't save him from himself, leave that job up to God and himself. When he's ready be there for him.

 

[Strife]

Kick him to the curb. May sound crude,but until he(like others said in much nicer format) realizes there is noting left, you and your family is going to suffer. Your family watched for to long. Time to start mending and hope for the best. Time to protect what you have left. If your family is lucky you will be able to reunite him back into your family a change man. Anything less is just going to give your family more pain.