What's the funniest thing you've ever witnessed?

sleepless_red

sleepless_red

The artist formerly known as "sleeper_red"
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I have two that happened within one month. First one was when we were on our way home from the gym. A car next to us was going to beat the red but decided to stop. So she stopped about two car lengths past the solid white line. Then she decided to back up slowly so she's not in the middle of the intersection. After backing up, she left the car in reverse and didn't realize it. When the light turned green, she hit the gas and BAM!!! Hit the police car behind her.:rofl:

Another one was in a residential neighborhood. There's this guy installing a brand new carpet and since there's not much room on the driveway, he was occupying almost half of the street. By the way, the carpet is a light colored one. As he was cutting it, I see this Comcast van coming up slowly and I can see the driver holding a piece of paper and looking for the house number. He didn't see the carpet on the street and ran over it. The Hispanic guy cutting it started yelling at him but his windows were up and didn't hear him. Man, did he leave tire marks on that brand new carpet. I almost died laughing.:rofl:

So, what's your funny story?
 
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There are many goods ones at the boat ramps...people locking the keys in there trucks while unloading, people getting out of their vehicle while in neutral and rolling deep into the water or worse completley in...and my fav...a guy was putting a bass boat on his trailer (the truck had a camper top on the bed)...instead of getting out of the boat he gave it some gas and was about 1/2 way on the trailer...after a few blasts of the throttle, he went over the trailer + into / on top of his fiberglass top.

a grooup of guys at the track were trying to set the timing of a car...they were using a blanket to block the sun...and the blanket got sucked into the fan...after that there was a bunch of swearing.
 
In 1963 I was in a projection booth, 8th Army HQ, Seoul Korea, operating a vu-graph machine throwing up hi-res maps top secret of North & South Korea. The auditorium was packed with brass from major to 3 star general, the speaker was Guy S. Meloy a 4 star. I had been listening to a stereo radio tuned to my fav rock station. I thought the thing was off. pulled out the stereo head phones plug and "BEE BOP A'LULA SHE'S MY BABY" blared out over the loud speakers. Everyone twisted around, I never saw so much brass do an about face. My section chief, Capt Kenneth M Cole, threw open the door to my room in a red-faced panic. Screaming unintelligibly. Minutes later we were both doubled over in laughter.
 
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Pulled up to a red light in my Porsche 930 Turbo once & the guy next to me starts reving his engine & giving me the thumbs up. OK, buddy you got it, you are in for the run of your life. I start reving my engine & slowly creeping forward. The light turns green & he takes off, smoke & rubber everywhere, he is just flying. I am so far back he had to be just laughing his A$$ off ... right up until the Cop that was behind me pulled him over.

Always check your 6 :rofl:
 
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saw an emo kid trying to jump start his bmw. had the cables backwards. there was smoke.
 
MPH 200 said:
Pulled up to a red light in my Porsche 930 Turbo once & the guy next to me starts reving his engine & giving me the thumbs up. OK, buddy you got it, you are in for the run of your life. I start reving my engine & slowly creeping forward. The light turns green & he takes off, smoke & rubber everywhere, he is just flying. I am so far back he had to be just laughing his A$$ off ... right up until the Cop that was behind me pulled him over.

Always check your 6 :rofl:
Click to expand...

pix of your 930 or ban.
 
When we were kids, we had a pool right beside the house. As an enterprising young man, my geometrical calculations said if I got a running start off the roof, my trajectory would carry me over into water deep enough that it would not hurt. Sure enough, I had the coolest jump off point in the neighborhood, right over the concret skirt and into the middle of the pool where I would tap and slide off the bottom. It was the coolest thing.

My younger brother, who I didn't really like much at the time, decided that, if I could do it, he could do it. However, he would start running down the roof, and at the last moment, chicken out and stop. I kept telling him to be careful, because the roof was getting wet and slippery, mostly because I didn't want him to ruin my gravy train.

Sure enough, he runs towards the edge, at the last moment has a change of heart, tries to stop, slips, falls, and slides off the roof. It just so happened that my mom had planted a Chinese Cherry Tree under the lip of the roof - that's the only thing that broke my brothers fall as he SPLAT on the concrete skirt around the pool. Once I figured out that he hadn't killed himself, I laughed for hours at his misfortune....
 
One more:

My brother and I worked for my dad. He is an avid bird hunter, bird dogs, etc. One day he's in his office checking out his newfangled dog training (shock) collar. He checks it out, and sets the settable shocking pin (on the highest setting, which becomes important in just a moment). So, he decides he wants to find out how strong this thing shocks, so he hands me the remote control and tells me to "push the button" while holding it in his lap with his thumbs on the pins. Remember the part about setting it on the 'highest' setting?

In any case, I have never, nor seen since in the last 25 years, my Dad move as fast as he did when I pushed that little red button. I think his desk came about a foot off the ground when he jumped. Apparently, that collar on it's high setting could get an elephant's attention.

Once I figured out I hadn't changed his heart rythum, I laid on the floor and laughted til I cried. Then my Brother shows up and asked what happened. After telling him, he said, "Oh, it can't be THAT bad"... I pulled a hundred dollar bill (a lot 25 years ago) out of my pocket and laid it on the desk, and told him it was his if he'd strap it around his thigh and give me the remote....:laugh:
 
1952, banning california. Fellow Whizzer enthusiast Jerry Haven, had just rebuilt his sportsman, and it was looking new. But he had a bad carb that was never going to work
He was trying vainly to start it up, pushing it back and forth with me sitting side-saddle
working the compression release. Finally, he lost it. went into a purple-faced rage, kicked over the bike with me on it, on to the soft shoulder. I did a roll and walked back to his garage while he was jumping and kicking bike around. Minutes later he walked his bike in, forcing a smile, but it was a wreck, spokes bent, paint ruined, gastank bent, hanging off etc.
 
ogre said:
saw an emo kid trying to jump start his bmw. had the cables backwards. there was smoke.
Click to expand...
ouch... on the BMW it fries the ECU... about $2000 later (retail) you get your car running again...
 
the smoke was from the terminal. car started right up when i told him to switch the cables.
 
Back when I was about 14/15, riding with my buddy I raced BMX bikes with,as we're burning down a sidewalk,going down a pretty good slope about 15-20 mph. He shoots up beside me and starts cussing me for cutting him off-really pissed, as I'm looking over at him while he's glaring at me, I just catch a street sign in the corner of my eye, then...WAM! Right in the middle of, "Hey! Watch where the F$%# your...." Instant stop! He had a bruise on his chest and collar bone for 2 weeks. As I came back almost in tears,I had to ask him, "What were you gonna say?":poke::rofl:
 
Along time ago, my mom got remarried to this guy and we moved in with him. I didn't like this guy that much and I hated his son even worse. We had to share a bedroom (me and his son) and we hated each other so much. He accused me of messing with his stuff, most notably his drum set and we got into a huge fight over it. The cops were there and everything.

Then we found out we had a whole lot in common and we became really good buddies for a while. We had karate competitions, movie marathons and we even built bunk beds. That last one didnt turn out so well. Then we tried to start a company that would transform the face of video entertainment... we wrecked his dad's boat in the video BY MISTAKE! His dad got REALLY mad and pretty much disowned us.

At this point the marriage broke up and we were forced to get jobs and leave the house to live on our own. I finally found out what coupons were for and how to shop for food and pay bills. My ex-brother did the same. We learned valuable life lessons. Then there was this big event that my work was sponsoring.. called the Catalina Wine Mixer... I hired the band, the catering service, etc.. etc.. I basically set the whole thing up. I even got my mom and ex-step dad to come.

Then, through no fault of mine... the band quit and me an my -ex-step brother had to fill in or this story would have totally sucked! He played the drums, that were magically set in position perfectly for his playing style and I sang. It was a new song, Ill call it 'time to say goodbye' or something like that.... then my wicked hot therpist showed up and everything was cool.

Whew, Ive had a good life.
 
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