The Ultimate Adventure Cruise

[Robot]

THE ULTIMATE ADVENTURE CRUISE

To The Point News
Wednesday, 13 May 2009

To The Point is excited to offer the ultimate adventure

cruise along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia!

We board our luxury cruise ship in Djibouti on the Gulf

of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark

in Mombassa, Kenya seven adrenaline-charged days later.

 

[Robot]

Starting at $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room)

and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you'll relax like never before.


That's because you are welcome to bring your own

arsenal with you.

If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent

them from our onboard Master Gunsmith.

Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon with skeet

and marksmanship competitions every night!

But the best fun of all, of course, is Pirate Target Practice.

For the object of the cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast

 

[Robot]

Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day

with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:

 

[Robot]

On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47
for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:

 

[Robot]

Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 .

50-cal sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing

ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.

 

[Robot]

Need a spotter?

Our professional crew members can double as

spotters for only $30/hour (spotting scope included, but gratuities are not.)

 

[Robot]

Want to make a real impact?

Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included!

 

[Robot]

Our deluxe package comes complete

with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.



But that's not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available

for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!

 

[Robot]

We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking a

ttempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund

upon arrival in Mombassa.

How can we make that guarantee?



We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the

coast of Somalia, thus in international waters where pirates

have no rights whatever.



In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters

to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships".

We repeat this for five days, making three complete

passes past the entire Somali Coast.



At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every

five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed

shoreside to attract maximum attention.

 

[Robot]

Testimonials from previous participants in the Somali Cruise:

"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected.

I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my

12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun.



This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Fred D., Cincinnati, OH

"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!"

-- Ben L., Bethesda, MD

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in 'Nam.



Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even

got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim...

reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked up

from the motor pool in Phu Bai!" -- Dan J. - Denver, CO


Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates!

But cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly.



Reserve your package before May 31st and get a great bonus -

100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice.



So sign up for the Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!

 

[Busa1166]

??? Pirates are serious threat an should not be mocked ... They should be shot where an whenever possible but not mocked


But that there is funny

 

[Mr Bogus]

now this is the type of "trolling" that might just do us all some good...

How do you guys handle the occasional liberal that my pop up asking that we take "pirates" to heart and bring them to our home land to turn loose with the Gitmo crowd?

Yea 'hugs" are nice but nothing says "I love you" like 30 seconds from the mini-gun

 

[racerV]

I wish that were real. Sounds like a great time!

 

[CWCobra]

Is this sponsored by the same organization hat offers overnight back packing camps in East L.A., and in Chicago's Cabrini Green?

???

 

[MET]

When do they start?

 

[Takeuon]

I'd so be all over the 50-Cal. Good stuff

 

[Jay Willie]

hey, John! I couldn't get my credit card approved on the web site and some operater is trying to book me on a lower level when I actually had a stateroom! What's up with that?

Thanks for the thought provoking satire! Good entertainment...and you need to go riding...more often...soon....

 

[Robot]

hey, John! I couldn't get my credit card approved on the web site and some operater is trying to book me on a lower level when I actually had a stateroom! What's up with that?

Thanks for the thought provoking satire! Good entertainment...and you need to go riding...more often...soon....

Amen Brother! Going riding this weekend, should have some pics Monday

 

[Mr Bogus]

I think ROBOT just moved up on the "watch list" of conservative gun toting, church loving Americans... (you know you are)... I think homeland security is also about to add anyone that eat cheerios in the morning too...

 

[Robot]

I think ROBOT just moved up on the "watch list" of conservative gun toting, church loving Americans... (you know you are)... I think homeland security is also about to add anyone that eat cheerios in the morning too...

Amen Brother Bogus!, you know me