Okay, to update everyone who was kind enough to offer suggestions, and to close this thread with the solution that worked so others may benefit....
I went to Sears again this afternoon. I found a set of extractors similar to what twotonevert recommended, but they had a little longer cutting tooth area than the ones he originally linked me to. I also found a set of extractors like sixpack577 suggested in post #50. I also bought a set of ball head metric allen head sockets...didn't think they'd be able to remove the bolts, but I thought it'd be worthwhile to have them for reinstallation and future ill advised mechanical challenges I might undertake.
I was unsuccessful finding the tool gmmech07 recommended.
Started with the least damaging...ball head allen sockets. As I suspected, the bolts were already too far gone for these, but it didn't hurt to try them first.
Second attempt with the extractors that fit over the bolt head. I was pretty skeptical these would work since the bolts are round to start with on the exterior. As I suspected I was unsuccessful on this attempt.
Third attempt with the screw extractor and a drill. I think these might work on bolts that are a higher grade, but the stock bolts are, as I wrote before, almost as soft as butter, so within about a half a second I had completely drilled any semblance of an allen head out of the bolt...without any progress.
I went and got the Sawzall, installed a new blade with much pomp and circumstance, where my bike could see what was in its immediate future if it didn't choose to cooperate.
Not so subtle threat completed, I went back to the extractor tool similar to what twotonevert recommended. I inserted a 3" extension, got a hammer, and beat the extractor onto one of the two bolts. Then I attached the ratchet and very carefully started applying force. Finally all the stars aligned as the hardened teeth of the extractor bit into the butter-like metal of the bolt, causing it to turn...almost imperceptably at first. A half turn was about all it took before I was able to unscrew the offending metallurgical wonder by hand. Repeat for problem bolt number two...again met with success.
Interestingly enough, both of these bolts are bent significantly.
I suspect the display of the Sawzall played a role in my success, but I can't prove it.
Some pics of the problem children after extraction...ignore the sensor spots:
This one shows the damage the extractor did inside the "butterbolt", much as gmmech07 predicted. Again, I think the extractor would work better on higher grade bolts.
And to illustrate how bent the bolts are now:
Thanks again all for the suggestions.
